


Pulling the Trigger

by desnich0



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Anime, Disturbing Themes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, M/M, Manga, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Sexual Abuse, Torture, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:16:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desnich0/pseuds/desnich0
Summary: After the death of Takaba Akihito, Ryuichi Asami had changed ever since by having himself cold and distant to others. Meanwhile, Makoto Koijima had ran away from home after a lifetime of abuse. Once these two men meet, well..





	1. Chapter 1

The sounds of screaming..

 

The sounds of weapons hitting skin..

 

The sounds of uncontrollable sobbing..

 

The threats..

 

The name calling..

 

The manipulation..

 

All of these sounds are familiar to Makoto Kojima. All his life, everyday, non-stop - he faced various series of tortures from his oh-so-called family. They’d keep him locked in the basement of their home far from the city and outside communication. Now you may wonder, “Why would they do such a thing to their child?” I’m afraid I wouldn’t know myself. Makoto had been self-taught in schooling, having no friends and what the world beyond his household is like. Everytime he opens his eyes, was his living hell.

 

Makoto gasped as he felt a thick shaft shove itself inside his entrance. His ash blonde hair was pulled back as his father bit down at his shoulder. “This is what you’re made to do. Now, who do you belong to?”

 

Saliva dripped from Makoto’s chin as he panted. “I..I belong..” He winced as he was greeted with a forceful thrust within. “To you!” He whined, wiggling his butt as he reacted to the drugs within his bloodstream.

 

Makoto’s father smirked as he thrusted inside the son he’d despised for twenty-five years. Meanwhile Makoto’s relatives jeered and cheered at the helpless Makoto while Makoto’s mother simply scoffed as she puffed on her cigarette. Makoto groaned as his member spurted warm cum, landing on his stomach, getting filled with his father’s semen afterwards. Makoto’s mother had then shoved her wrecked husband aside to dig her cigarette at Makoto’s back, having him to let out a shriek of pain.

 

\--

 

Ryuichi Asami opened his eyes, seeing his hands holding the picture portrait of himself and Akihito in their trip at Okinawa. His expression became distorted in discomfort as he placed the portrait facedown at his desk. He remembered the haunting final memories of the young man he’d grown to cherish and protect - only to fade away into a cold vessel. Asami shook his head, rubbing his eyes to get the dried tears off.

 

It been at least two years since the death of Akihito Takaba. The atmosphere had felt so cold and empty every time Asami had returned to his suite. Akihito would pop out from the kitchen or the living him to holler a greeting to him, giving that bright smile he loved. Now he’d be greeted by eerie silence. Whenever he’d sleep, he’d thought Akihito was beside him to bring warmth; now only to feel coldness. It was as if Asami had lived a fantasy where he possessed Akihito, grew feelings for him, constantly fighting off anyone else who’d hurt his partner.

 

But he knew it was no dream.

 

All the times he’d associate with Akihito, spent time with him, felt his love and warmth - they were all real. Only to be snatched from his grasp.

 

Asami stood up from his chair, lighting up a cigarette to gaze down at the city that held many memories. And for the first time - had he ever felt disgust so much to where he’d want to stop living altogether.

 

\--

 

The following day; it was a cool Thursday, late morning to be exact.

 

Makoto’s eyes fluttered as he noticed the room was cold and dark as it always had been. He felt weak. He couldn’t even help himself to roll on his back due to lack of strength and because of the new wounds he had received last night. Makoto’s head ached, just barely remembering what his family had done to him. He can taste the distasteful taste of alcohol in his mouth, his body barely numb, his hearing catching silence; this was his typical morning.

 

He gave a sigh, seeing his hands and wrists all rubbed raw with rope and rough grasps from manipulative hands. He’d never imagine living life without this pain, no, this ongoing nightmare that’ll continue on and on until his last breath - because he knew this will be the life he’ll live by.

 

No life to live by his own free will,

 

No friends,

 

No happiness,

 

No memories,

 

No love.

 

Everything will remain as they are until the day his body goes limp; and there’ll be no escape. This place that was called “home”, will be his grave.

 

Upon the silence, Makoto had thought he heard footsteps. There was only silence. He shook off the thought, closing his eyes to catch up the rest he needed before his living nightmare resumes. Only for his eyes to open again; there was definitely someone here, Makoto thought. He slowly turned his head, his eyes narrowing to see a transparent figure of a young man. _“A ghost..?”_ He continued to stare at the figure, watching as it walked towards him.

 

The man stood in front of Makoto, crossing his legs as he sat in front of him. “You sure have life hard, huh?”

 

Makoto closed his eyes. “..Am I..dead?” His voice can barely be heard, by merely a faint whisper.

 

The man shook his head. “Not unless you get out there to live a life. You can’t stay here much longer.” Makoto’s eyes opened again, staring at the man once more. “You don’t have to hide this. You’re here to take me to wherever the dead go.” The man shook his head again. “I’m here to take you out of this place.” His pale, hazel eyes seemed mourning to Makoto. What was even there to take pity for? Makoto had thought.

 

If he could, Makoto would’ve laughed at the man’s reply. It was obvious that he didn’t believe in this nonsense, better yet, from a ghost-like figure. Makoto rolled his eyes. “Even if I were to go anywhere, I can’t walk.. Where..would I go? I belong here.” The man eventually stood up, disappearing for a while before coming back with a first aid kit and some clothes. “Whether you want to or not; you’re coming with me.”

 

“And who do you think you are for caring for a bastard like me?” Makoto gave a weak cough.

 

The man carefully had Makoto sit up with his legs crossed. It was as if he ignored Makoto’s question. He did his best to tend to Makoto’s wounds before dressing him up with a plaid shirt, jacket, jeans, and sneakers. Makoto lifted his head, staring at the man’s eyes, clearly seeing the shelves of the basement right through him. “Answer me..” He rasped.

 

There was a little more silence before the man replied. “If I answer, then you’ll listen and come with me?”

 

Makoto gave a small nod.

 

The man sighed. “I’m Akihito Takaba. Now let’s go before any of your family wakes up.”

 

_Akihito..Takaba._

 

\--

 

Makoto gave off whimpers every now and then as Akihito helped him climb up the spiral staircase up to the first floor before the two found a cab nearby outside the house to head to Tokyo, far away from the place Makoto had called “home”.

 

Makoto gazed out at the window, repeating Akihito’s name in his head; and wondering what he’d do then now that he’d gone out and is now going to start as supposingly new life.

 

 _Akihito Takaba_. He repeated the name again as the cab had reached the city.


	2. Chapter 2

Makoto had wondered about how the cab was conveniently nearby for his escape but according to Akihito, he was told to not worry about it. Not that it really mattered to Makoto since he could care less of being saved in the first place; but there was a feeling that he hasn't felt before: freedom.

 

All of his life - he was shut off from the world beyond and had no experiences about it. Even if it were a convenience store he wouldn’t know what to do nor would he be able to cope. He felt as if he needed to be in control or he’d be nothing at all. He had no idea of what it’s like to live as an actual human being but no more than a mere animal or sex slave. It seemed pitiful. But pity wouldn’t help the person Makoto is at this time.

 

The cab finally pulled to a stop. Makoto simply followed Akihito out of the cab; his eyes seemed lifeless as Akihito would gaze back at him to check on him. His appearance seemed strange and distracting to the wandering people that were walking close by. Makoto’s skin was once a flawless, fair tone but it was now dulled and distorted to a undescribable sickly colour. His ash blonde hair was about as long till his shoulders; all filthy, matted, and tangled. Eyebags and faint bruises on his skin were noticeable too - it was a wonder to others of what kind of a life did Makoto Koijima had lived.

 

Akihito beckoned Makoto to turn to the left, leading him to an alleyway until Makoto’s legs had given up, having the feeble man to stumble and fall to his knees. It was like a miracle that Makoto was able to get this far despite being malnourished, weak, and unkempt. Akihito looked at Makoto. “Oi, Makoto, c’mon - just bit further. You have to stand -”

 

“Sir? Are you alright?”

 

Makoto slowly lifted his head, seeing a young woman with  long beautiful caramel hair, and wore a beige turtleneck with hot pink leggings and violet high heels. The woman also had a red purse sling among her shoulder as she offered her free hand to him. Her teal eyes held worry. Makoto wasn’t used to seeing pity, and so he was hesitant.

 

“Makoto!” Makoto gazed at Akihito, slightly surprised to hear his name being addressed. It seemed alien to him comparing to the crude name calling by his family. “Makoto, listen to me. This woman will help you. Trust me.” Akihito gave a nod at Makoto.

 

Makoto looked back at the woman, giving his bandaged hand towards her offering hand.

 

~

 

There was a salon in the alleyway, where the woman lived apparently and had Makoto helped himself inside.

 

The woman’s eyes widened to see the bandages upon Makoto’s body as she took off his jacket. “What on earth happened to you..?” She looked at Makoto’s dazed face. “H-Hey.. What’s your name?”

 

Makoto gave a slow blink, eventually getting sickened by the pitiful expression on the stranger’s face. “Makoto..Koijima.” His voice was getting fainter. 

 

The woman bit her lip, ushering Makoto up the stairs within the salon and into her upstairs apartment above. She had him sitting at the couch, immediately making a simple sandwich and feeding it to Makoto along with a bottle of water. She watched as Makoto stared down at the sandwich. “What’s wrong?? Eat.” The woman stared at Makoto. She can already tell the man standing in front of him is upon the brink of dying. There seemed no interest for Makoto to be motivated to do anything.

 

The woman placed the sandwich and water aside, kneeling in front of Makoto. Her hands gently gripping at Makoto’s arms, only for Makoto to suddenly push the woman away. His expression seemed alert, all distorted with alert, shock, and distrust. There was a disturbed look in his eyes; something that the woman couldn’t forget.

 

Akihito too was shocked of Makoto’s reaction. He haven’t realized that communication and trust would be this difficult for Makoto had been raised as a lowlife with no objective in life. Makoto held himself close, shuddering as he started to mutter to himself. “I’ll be a good boy..I’ll be a good boy..I’ll be a good boy..”

 

The woman slowly stood up. She didn’t know what to do about Makoto; she is even more curious of what Makoto had to go through. She gave cautious steps towards Makoto. She’ll have to build and earn Makoto’s trust - it’s the only way to make the first step of helping this stranger. However the revealing bandages, cuts, bruises, and scars seemed hypnotizing to look at. But the woman shook the thought off as she just can’t have Makoto being in this traumatized state. “H-Hey.. I’m not here to hurt you. I want to help you.” She kept her voice steady and calm.

 

Makoto cowered his body; his blackened fingernails digging to his scalp. “N-NO! I HATE THAT LOOK ON YOUR F-FACE!”

 

The woman flinched at Makoto’s sudden loudness and tone. She balled up her fists, determined to still help Makoto. “I won’t hurt you, Makoto. Please - you need to eat to get your strength.”

 

Makoto’s bewildered eyes gazed at the nervous woman. He didn’t say anything; he only saw his mother with a cigarette in hand, walking ever so closer towards him. His mouth was gaped open. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t respond to the woman’s tries on helping him eat. He was stuck in his manipulative mind that reanimated his nightmare over and over in his head.

 

Akihito had a hand at Makoto’s shoulder, only to have it go through him. Biting his lip, he stood in front of Makoto. “Makoto. It’s me, Akihito. Remember me?” Makoto stared at Akihito. His mother had vanished; seeing Akihito and the woman in front of him. Still trembling, he looked around the room, seeing a living room, hallways that lead to rooms, and the spiral staircase. Makoto lowered his hands, looking down at his lap. He was silent.

 

Akihito gave a sigh of relief, coming cover to the empty side of the couch to sit beside Makoto. Meanwhile the woman had taken a step forward. “Makoto..?” Makoto sniffled, not bothering to lift his head.

 

The woman had gone to sit at an armchair not too far from Makoto to give him his space. “Maybe he’ll eat at his own time..” She thought as she hugged her legs close, her gaze fixated at Makoto.

 

~

 

Eventually Makoto had himself to eat and allow the woman to assist him. The woman had introduced herself as Aya Ono. Aya had given Makoto a bath, redressing his wounds, giving him a pair of sleep clothes, and introducing him to his room. “This is where you can sleep. I live alone here so if you have nowhere to go, feel free to stay.” Aya gave a smile.

 

Makoto gave a nod, staring into the room. He was hesitant at first before heading in to lie at the bed, falling asleep in an instant.

 

Aya gave a smile, closing the door to let Makoto be at peace.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s been around a week since Makoto had grown accustomed to living with Aya. He seemed to be less tense along with lesser episodes of trauma and ptsd. He eventually got to tell Aya what had happened to him. Of course he had to see pity back at Aya’s face but he got used to it as he was told it was just surprising and horrific of what he had been through.

 

Aya had told Makoto that she isn’t Aya Ono at all but a man named Hikaru Xiu. Makoto didn’t seem to understand; later being explained that Hikaru is a man that likes to dress up as a girl: a crossdresser. He was also told if Makoto’s family were to be on the lookout for him, he’d set up a fake name, a fake identity to live by to live safe and sound away from any more harm. As always, Makoto was reluctant but had come into understanding as to he had decided himself that he wouldn’t go back to that hellish place called “home”.

 

After teaching basics of makeup and feminine fashion, Makoto will be known as Haruka Yamazaki.

 

\--

 

Akihito intertwined his hand with Asami’s, giving a bright grin as the two walked down the beach. “So what’s this surprise I’ve been hearing about? Your guards won’t tell even if I tried to force them.” He gave a pout. Asami gave a chuckle. “It’s not like they’ll follow on _your_ order.” He kissed the top of Akihito’s head, having the younger man to blush. “Tch. Just you wait - I’ll find out soon enough and I’ll 一”

 

Asami’s eyes widened to see Akihito instantly collapse in his arms. “Takaba?” The sky had gone dark, summoning rain as Asami had recognized this particular scenery. He clutched Akihito close, looking at one of his hands to see blood.

 

_No.._

 

_No._

 

_No!_

 

Asami looked down at Akihito, completely lifeless. He yelled Akihito’s name over and over - receiving loud thunder in response. It seemed like a dream or whether it’s actually real to Asami. However the case it was; Akihito’s death was something he can never forget and will always frighten him to the bone. Yes, the great Ryuichi Asami, being afraid of a dream that was actually reality. And the one thing about reality, is that you can’t have something once its lost.

 

Asami’s eyes opened, feeling his face had fresh and dried tears. He rubbed at his face as he sat up. _“Another dream..”_ The older man bit hard at his lip, seeing Akihito’s death once again playing ever so vividly in his mind. He punched at the mattress in distress.

 

_“Takaba..”_

 

\--

 

“Here. I don’t know if you’d want to do this but since there’d nothing else for you to do..well just try it.” Hikaru gave a watercolour paint set towards Makoto. “I have to work now. I’ll cya in lunch okay?” He gave a wave after adjusting his wig and closing the door behind him.

 

Makoto looked down at the cover of the painting set, admiring the examples it showed. He helped himself to sit at the desk Hikaru bought for him and tried out his new possible hobby. As he flicked the brush, he noticed that the rope marks that’d be on his wrist were already faint to nearly disappearing. He’d give a smile but he isn’t too comfortable about it and that he was fine the way he is.

 

“Wow, that doesn’t look too bad for a first timer.”

 

Makoto looked up over his shoulder, seeing Akihito peeking over to see his attempt to paint a koi fish in a pond. “Akihito..” He stopped painting, giving his full attention to Akihito. It was a relief that Makoto had been steadily recovering. It’s a slow process, but Akihito is relieved to see Makoto is living a life that didn’t involve torture and being raped constantly.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Makoto’s nonchalant voice awakened Akihito from getting dazed. “Ah no, sorry. I’m just checking on you. You’re looking well than the time I first met you.” Makoto gave a nod in understanding. “I see.” Akihito scratched the back of his bed, helping himself to sit at Makoto’s bed.

 

“Why?”

 

“Mm?” Akihito looked at Makoto.

 

Makoto’s gaze was about to waver but his hands clentched at the edge of his chair. “Why did you help me? I appreciate what you did..but I don’t know who you really are..” Akihito gave a sigh. “Even if I did told who I really was, you wouldn’t have trusted me nor you have believed me.” He gave a weak chuckle.

 

Makoto patiently waited for an answer, causing Akihito to be hesitant.

 

“Well..you see, I’m related to you. N-Now hear me out..” Akihito saw immediate distrust in Makoto’s eyes but the older man had remained calm, just waiting. Akihito had then crossed his legs, resting his head on his hands. “When I died..I woke up at your house. Now I dunno how the afterlife works even after these years..but when I looked around, it seemed one of my aunts seemed distressed at the entrance of the basement. That was when I first saw you being all..all…” Akihito was at a loss of words, eventually remembering exactly how his first sighting of Makoto had happened.

 

_Some men had a small bottle in front of Makoto’s face, making Makoto’s face immediately flushed. Makoto gave a moan as one of his uncles toyed with his member while his father started to thrust in him. Akihito stood shocked into place - it was a scene no one should ever have to witness._

 

_“M-More!!”_

 

_The blindfolded Makoto panted, grabbing another man’s dick to stroke it while a woman had herself making out with him. Akihito’s eyes widened more. Just as he was going to scream, his aunt had stepped into the scene, begging for the torture to stop. Everyone had stopped what they’re doing; their twisted, distorted faces looking at her as she got pinned down, tearing off her clothes, and having Makoto on top of her. Saliva and drool dripped down from Makoto’s mouth as he moaned. His uncle had guided his twitching member to enter in the aunt’s entrance, having a scream erupt in the air._

 

_Akihito had dropped to his knees, his mouth gaped wide in horror - unable to take his eyes off the scene. Makoto continued on thrusting, getting more intoxicated; his breaths getting heavier, almost gone to his limit before releasing inside the woman._

 

_Not too long later he was pulled away and was forced to have sex with another woman. Akihito watched as two men with wooden bats walked to the crying woman, raising their bats in the air to give impact to mush his aunt’s face into a pulp._

 

“Akihito..?”

 

Akihito gasped, finding himself back at Makoto’s room. Makoto tilted his head to the head, giving his best to show concern. “All what? Being all fucked up and being used til I drop? Is that what you meant?”

 

Akihito gave a flinch before taking his time to calm down. Makoto may be recovering however it’ll be a very long process, and that his mind had not yet been starting to make its recovery from the events he had faced. Akihito looked at Makoto. “..The reason I’m helping you is not only because you’re my blood, but to take away from that hell that had ruined you from the beginning.” He bit his lip, looking down at his transparent feet. “You may not have asked for any help but..you.. You don’t deserve to have such scary things happen to you..”

 

Makoto watched Akihito. “Why are you crying? I’m here now, right?”

 

Akihito looked at Makoto. Makoto had himself go back to painting as if the discussion never happened. Akihito shook his head, staying quiet as he mentally cursed himself for getting too deep within one of the memories that disturbs him.

 

~

 

Hikaru had called Makoto down for lunch, placing lunch bentos on the table. The two gave their prayers before helping themselves. Hikaru gazed at Makoto. His blank expression seems to not have changed since the day he first met him. Sure his personality had changed a bit as he grew to be comfortable around him. However Hikaru can’t help but to be concerned for Makoto.

 

Makoto had finished his bento before walking to the sink to wash the box and turn back to his room. “Ah, wait, Makoto!” Makoto looked over his shoulder to see Hikaru walking towards him. “How about I take you out? My treat.”

 

~

 

Hikaru had taken Makoto to walk around the city since it’s been a while Makoto had been taken out. He looked at Makoto; his hair had been cut into an androgynous pixie cut since he wasn’t too fond of wigs, a violet turtleneck with dark leggings that were accompanied with ankle boots. His makeup was all light, giving his doll-like face remain its monotone composure. Hikaru gave a smile as he gently squeezed Makoto’s hand, walking hand-in-hand, side-by-side in the cool weather.

 

As they reached to they reached to a red pedestrian light, Hikaru happened to turn his head to see a particular hotel that had brought back upsetting memories. His gaze wandered down to the entrance to see a tall man in a business suit emerge from a limo. Just as Hikaru was about to make a thought; he felt tugging at his hand to see Makoto crossing the street with the pedestrian light now green. He quickly apologized, starting to make a move on. He looked back at the hotel entrance again, his eyes narrowing to see the man turn his head slightly, meeting cold, golden eyes.

 

Hikaru had looked away, feeling his blood starting to boil. He looked at Makoto to see his eyes all wandering at the city’s attractions and advertisements. However he had remained upset after that brief gaze of the suited man, for that he had conflicts in the past.

 

_“That bastard..”_


	4. Chapter 4

Hikaru and Makoto had gone to a stop at a little cafe after their brisk walk of window shopping and trying out new clothing at shops. Makoto stared down at his bubble tea, staring at it as if it were nothing. Hikaru gave a smile. “C’mon, drink it ー it’s really good.” He took a sip, gazing out of the window.

 

Akihito was sitting beside Makoto. “Oi.. Could you at least make some expressions? Hikaru is getting concerned for you; can’t you tell?”

 

Makoto remained silent. It’s not like he wanted to give any signs of expressing himself; after all he was raised to be treated as a simple plaything. Even if he were to give expression, his family would suppress his resistance with the drugs to intoxicate him. It had been a week since Makoto had ran away; and yet he still sees his surroundings to be like his nightmare at “home”. One could even say he wouldn’t be human if he weren’t to give any kind of expression. This makes it difficult to how he’s feeling, having it difficult with both Akihito and Hikaru.

 

Makoto looked at the empty chair beside him, seeing nothing. He sat still where he was; his thoughts all spread out to where there’d be enormous gaps of space within. He looked at Hikaru, noticing his face had gotten bitter ever since they came to the cafe. “..Aya?”

 

Hikaru turned his head. “Sorry. What’s up?” Makoto’s eyes bored into Hikaru’s contacts, giving a small shrug. “You just seem..distant.”

 

Hikaru shook his head. “Nah, don’t worry about it.” His cellphone had started to vibrate for him to answer it. “Hello...A photoshoot?...That’s ni一..Oh...At Carlé Suites?” Hikaru had given a frown at the response he had. “I mean..that’s fine. I just have to get my things before heading there.” Hikaru looked at Makoto, watching him finally take a sip of his tea. “Hey, could I bring a friend with me? He won’t be a bother...Really?..Thanks!...Okay…..I’ll see you then.” Hikaru had hung up afterwards.

 

“Makoto.”

 

Makoto given his gaze, contently sipping at his tea. “I have a client to work with tomorrow afternoon. You’ll be coming with me so you can gain more experience of your surroundings. It’ll be boring since I can’t be with you all the time but it’s a nice change of environment for you.” Hikaru gave a smile. Makoto gave a nod of understanding. No resistance at all.

 

~

 

Around the following day 一 Hikaru and Makoto headed over to Carlé Suites around Hikaru’s designated time. Makoto had been told to stay in the lobby, being given a small wallet with some change and bills to treat himself during Hikaru’s absence. Hikaru gave a wave of farewell before disappearing to the corridor.

 

Makoto sat at an armchair, turning his head around to look at the new environment he took a liking of. The whole lobby was spacious, decorated with shades of gold, browns, and mahogany; a shimmering chandelier bedazzled up above the ceiling. People in casual and formal attires were mixed as they were either filling in or leaving the hotel; it seemed like a busy and important place to Makoto.

 

As Makoto was being dazed of his surroundings, a man made his way towards a couch not too far from Makoto. Makoto blinked, noticing the man to be intrigued by his appearance. The man was of pale composure, had dark hair combed back to having stray strands rest upon his forehead and temples, a tidied suit, and had a cigarette upon his thin lips. The man had beautiful golden eyes; however they were eyes of distrust and coldness. It unknowingly reminded Makoto of himself.

 

The man took notice of a presence staring, turning his head to meet Makoto’s gaze. Those piercing eyes had Makoto remain in place, giving him a familiar feeling of submissiveness. However the man took no heed to give anymore confliction and helped himself walk out of the hotel doors. Makoto could still smell the cigarette scent the man left behind. He couldn’t move for a short while til he’d realized that the man had gone off elsewhere. It was strange for Makoto. He thought he saw pain within those cold eyes but he didn’t get to see hard enough as the distance between him and the man was interfering. Makoto had decided to ask about who the man was once Hikaru comes back.

 

\--

 

Asami gazed out of the window as the limo smoothly drove along the streets of Tokyo. His mind seemed to have gone to that young woman he took notice of. He thought she was being rude for simply doing such an action. Asami didn’t take much interest as he’d mind his own business and the woman will handle her own business. He has nothing to do with that stranger.

 

“Asami-san, the information you had requested had been received.” The chauffeur had spoken. Asami puffed at his cigarette. “Carry on.”

 

“Well it seems someone within us has been giving off information to an unknown party. We’re not able to find out who it is yetーhowever there’s a person that is related to that party.” Asami’s gaze narrowed at the rearview mirror. “This person is a man named Makoto Koijima; there’s not much information about him. But it’s been heard that he’s escaped from this party and is living around this area.”

 

Asami looked out of the window. _“Someone will have to pay for doing this deed.”_ He then thought of the name he had been given.

 

_“Makoto Koijima, huh..”_

 

\--

 

Makoto sat up straight, seeing Hikaru making his way back to him. It had been around two hours or so as he assisted with makeup for a client’s photoshoot. Hikaru looked at Makoto. “Please tell me you at least ate something.” It seems rather pathetic but Makoto has a tendency to to skip out on eating meals or taking care of himself in general; having Hikaru to constantly check Makoto had eaten something. Makoto had then pulled out a bag of chips, having Hikaru to laugh. “Good boy.”

 

They both headed back for the salon and up inside the apartment. Makoto sat on the couch, watching Hikaru make some warm tea. “I saw a man today.”

 

Hikaru had stopped pouring water to the cup. “A man?” He glanced over his shoulder. There was a shift of atmosphere. Makoto gave a nod. “I dunno if you know him..but he looked..” He pondered for a moment. “Hurt, in a way.” Hikaru raised a brow. “Hurt?” Makoto nodded again. “He was tall..in a suit..dark hair..golden eyes..”

 

Hikaru’s hands clenched into fists. “Did he spoke or did anything to you?” He immediately spoke.

 

Makoto tilted his head, shaking it. “We just..stared at each other for a while before he left. His gaze reminds me of _home_.” Hikaru watched Makoto look down at his lap, eventually walking over to him to sit next to him and rub at his back. “This is your home now. You don’t have to live that lifestyle, no, that place again. You’re safe here.” He gave a reassuring smile. Makoto lifted his face, giving a nod before resting his head on Hikaru’s shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Makoto gazed out at the window, seeing cars and people come and go. There’s always something happening day by day. Hikaru had been busy lately with clients, having Makoto all by himself upstairs either sleeping, looking out the window, or painting. _“Golden eyes..”_ He’d thought of the man he saw that day. His gaze ー it’d remind him of the glances his family gave him. However they were different. As he said before; he thought he saw hurt within the stranger. He’s never seen such a look before.

 

“Makoto.”

 

Makoto turned his head, seeing Akihito sitting at his bed. There was worry in his eyes. “You’re thinking about that man, aren’t you?” Makoto gave a nod. “Is he a scary man too?” Akihito shook his head. “Not really..but.. Just stay away from him. He’s..” He remained silent. Makoto simply stared at him. It seemed Akihito wasn’t himself. He then lifted his legs up to hug them close to him. “..He’s hurt. I can just see it.”

 

Akihito’s gaze narrowed, having a flash of familiar memories appearing in his mind. He remembered the crinkled expression of sorrow upon Asami’s face. That was the first and last time he’d seen such a face upon his partner. His hearing was getting faint, unable to hear the shaking voice of Asami. His eyesight had gotten blurry due to blood loss and the wounds at the back of his chest. His voice had gotten raspy, choking on his loss of words. Tears overwhelmed Akihito’s eyes, clenching his teeth at the memory.

 

Makoto watched Akihito. “Akihiー”

 

“Just stay away from him, okay?!”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, flinching at the loudness of his cousin’s voice. His hands reached up to his scalp just slightly scraping his long fingernails amongst the surface. “Wh-What’s wrong? Did I do that? I’m sorry..I’m sorry..” Akihito did nothing to calm Makoto at this time, being busy remembering the day of his death and having the word hurt play over and over in his head.

 

Of course Asami would be hurt. He’s all alone, all shaken to witness his partner’s death; watching as Akihito had faded away in his arms. And Akihito would never feel Asami’s warmth as the past will remain as it is.

 

~

 

It had gone to evening that day. Hikaru had just finished his last client, heading up the stairs to see the apartment all dark. “Makoto?” He walked to Makoto’s room to see darkness. He then heard faint mumbles and sniffling, having to him to turn the light on to see Makoto, all shaking in his chair and ravenously scratching at his scalp. “Makoto!”

 

Hikaru quickly pried Makoto’s hands off, cupping his face to see reddened eyes and pain upon Makoto’s face. “H-Hey.. What’s wrong?” Hikaru wrapped his arms around Makoto, rubbing at his back. “I’m sorry if I was so busy. I can take you 一”

 

“I’m sorry..I’m sorry..I’m sorry..”

 

Hikaru had Makoto face-to-face, bashing foreheads. He gave a groan of pain as he heard a whimper, steadying himself after the impact. “Man.. Just come back to your senses when I call out to you. You’re safe, I’m telling you that. And I’m never going to leave you.” Makoto stared at Hikaru, biting his lip as he nuzzled his face at the crook of the other man’s neck. “I made him cry.. I made Aki cry..”

 

Hikaru raised a brow. “Aki?” Makoto sniffled. He didn’t say anything as he just kept at sniffling. Hikaru gave a sigh, holding Makoto close, softly humming to sooth Makoto.

 

\--

 

Asami remained late in his office. His portrait of himself and Akihito had remained face down as he didn’t bother to touch it again. His thoughts were constantly thinking about Akihito as the days pass by. Two years, he’d thought. He’d never thought it’s been that long since Akihito had gone. Asami gave a frown, inhaling at his cigarette. His gaze wandered at the ashtray which was full of cigarette butts. He’d admit that he’d been smoking and drinking more than he usually would; however it was the only way he’d cope himself. There’d even be times he’d get into lashing fits onto blaming himself for not able to protect Akihito.

 

Asami frowned. He stared blankly at the door of his office. _“It’s useless.. It’s getting difficult to focus at this rate. And even after killing that bastard who took away Takaba..”_ He closed his eyes. _“He’ll never come back, just like everyone else.”_

 

There was a knock on the door, having Asami to open his eyes. He took a few breaths to steady himself. “Come in.” The door opened, revealing one of his bodyguards. “There’s someone here to see you. He insisted to see you no matter what I did. I sincerely apologize.” Asami shook his head. “Just let him in.” The guard nodded, opening the door to reveal Ahikito.

 

Asami’s eyes widened, his cigarette had fallen from his mouth. “Taka..ba?”

 

Akihito gave a smile, running in the office to make his way to hug Asami close. “Hey.. Sorry for taking so long.” It had hurt to hear Akihito’s voice. But Asami didn’t care; he held Akihito close. “God damn it.. You scared me leaving me here..” He muttered, holding back at his tears.

 

Akihito gave a smile, resting his chin at Asami’s shoulder. “You? Scared? C’mon, that’s not you.” Asami looked at Akihito, giving a shaky smile. “Takaba.. Are you really here?” Akihito stared at Asami. “Hey, I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m here.” Asami gave a nod, continuing to hold Akihito close. He didn’t want this moment to end, dream or reality ー he couldn’t possibly forget about him, and thus his love for him had remained in his heart. This seemed very unlike for Asami to give a vulnerable act, but whenever things would be about Akihito, all his divided attention goes all out to the man he’d been close to.

 

“..ami. Asami.”

 

Asami opened his eyes, seeing Fei Long stand in front of his desk. Asami looked around him - Akihito was nowhere to be in sight. Fei Long had looked at him with a raised brow. “I wouldn’t think you’re the type of man to daze off like that.” He crossed his arms. “You alright?” Asami frowned, immediately disheartened as he’d been in a fantasy again. It was hopeless. He couldn’t even help it. He’d never accept it, no, he wouldn’t have the heart to help himself move on. The pain was far too great within his heart; the fantasies, the illusions, the dreams — Asami would have Akihito within his arms, as if his life weren’t to be taken away in the first place. That’s how pathetic Ryuichi Asami had came to be.

 

“Tch. What do you want?” Asami’s gaze wavered, his hands had themselves tightly clasped together.

 

Fei Long gave a sigh. “I have information about your little mishap. Not that I could care helping you, but this case involves me as well unfortunately. You see, one of my relatives had been married and associated with the Koijima family, that unknown party you’ve been wanting to know. This would mean I know about Makoto Koijima. I take you know of him already?”

 

_Makoto Kojima._

 

Asami looked back at Fei Long, giving him his attention. “A few of my men had pinpointed a few possible locations of where Koijima may be. It may take a while to find it exactly; but once he’s found, you can use him to solve your case. For me, well, that’ll be my own business.” Feilong had walked up to Asami’s desk, picking up the face down portrait. A faint smile tugged at his lips. “Did you know he’s also a relative to Akihito as well?” It was cruel for Fei Long to bring up the subject of Akihito in Asami’s presence but it’s not like he’d care for Asami’s feelings. He still had his ability to mess with Asami, no matter what has happened. Asami didn’t bother to look up at the Chinese man. “Will that be all?” He curtly spoke.

 

Fei Long put the portrait back on the desk, helping himself head for the door. “I’ll give you a call on the latest update. I’ll see you then, Asami.” And with that he had left, leaving Asami all by himself in his office again.

 

Asami had a hand rub at his face, standing up to prepare his leave back to Carlé Suites.

 

~

 

Asami had woken up around 4AM, having himself get ready for another day. Just as he was about to exit the room, he looked back at the darkness for a short moment before leaving back to his office.


	6. Chapter 6

Makoto had gone to sleep long after Hikaru had calmed him down. He later woke up around noon, looking around his room 一 he haven’t seen Akihito since his sudden breakdown. Makoto had left his room to help himself with some toast spread with jam. He sat on the couch to quietly eat in place. He couldn’t even think much due to the events of last night. It made Makoto wince slightly.

 

“Ah, you awake?” Makoto turned his head, seeing Hikaru in his feminine attire. Hikaru gave a smile as he gradually took off his heels. “I’m closing the shop early to meet up with some friends. Want to come?”

 

_Friends..?_

 

Makoto gave his head a shake. That word seemed alien just everything else he had learned. Even if he did tagged along, who knows what would happen to poor Makoto. Scratching at his scalp? Being too quiet? Dazing off? A possible breakdown? It’s uncertain, to be frank. Makoto then went off to the sink to wash the dishes. Meanwhile Hikaru helped himself put on some flats, grabbing his purse from the kitchen island. “I’ll call you to check up on you, okay..? Take care.” And with that he simply left, locking the door behind him.

 

It was quiet. Makoto was all alone once more. It’s not like Hikaru didn’t care much for Makoto as he usually would; he just wanted to give his dear friend his space. Sure he felt a pang of uneasiness as he walked out of the alleyway, but it was as if Makoto didn’t develope a sense of making whatever decisions that made him comfortable, or being aware of himself completely. Hikaru looked over his shoulder just before crossing the street.

 

Makoto went back to his room, starting to paint as he always did. Akihito hasn’t made an appearance as time passed by. This would be a moment when Makoto would feel concerned, if he had that ability 一 but he didn’t feel anything. He was in his own world. He’d always had been since he left _that_ place.

 

_It’s quiet.._

 

_So quiet.._

 

_I.._

 

_It’s so quiet.._

 

_Akihito.._

 

_Hikaru.._

 

_The man with golden eyes.._

 

_Do they all matter..?_

 

Makoto’s eyelids lowered, his hand pausing on painting as he stared at his painting of a small boy being beside a bare tree. _Do I matter..?_

 

He looked up, seeing the day had gone by quick as he recognized the sunset sky of evening. He then stopped painting to get changed into a grey dress with a dark brown cardigan, black leggings, and combat boots. He didn’t bother with makeup, taking a small crossbody bag containing his wallet and cellphone. Makoto turned off the lights, excluding the lamp in his room before locking the salon behind him. This is the first time Makoto had gone off alone from the salon. Usually he’d be with Hikaru since he basically knew his way around the city. Makoto had already knew some locations he can familiarize so he wouldn’t get lost.

 

As Makoto walked along the sidewalk, he happened to see a group of middle school children goofing off and laughing in delight. His feets came to a stop, watching the sight of companionship he may never have.

 

_\--_

 

Makoto had stopped in front of an alleyway. Lately he’d be in thought about the man he saw at Carlé Suites; yet he didn't happen to grasp the name of the man. Eventually he happened to recognize the route he was walking to: Carlé Suites. Makoto stared at the tremendous building from afar. Even if he just had the name of the man he saw, it'll be enough for him. He didn't care for him of course but he did notice Hikaru wasn't fond of the man in general. _Did that man do something to Hikaru..?_

 

Playing with the short strands of his hair, Makoto crossed the street to get closer to Carlé Suites. There were lines of limos and cars alike; along with tourists, businessmen, politicians, and bellhops. It was busy, just like the rest of the world would be. Makoto stood close by, watching as people checked in and out, coming and going to elsewhere. His nonchalant gaze waded to find that familiar tall figure, cigarette between lips, and those unforgettable golden eyes. _..Where are you?_

 

Before Makoto would make another thought, a tall figure stood in front of him. Makoto looked up, in hopes of the man he was looking for — but his gaze met an unfamiliar face. The figure turned out to be a man in a suit, pale, and had long dark hair brought back in a neat braid. His face appeared feminine, making it difficult for others to tell whether this man is a man or a woman themselves. In other terms, Makoto had yet met another alluring person. The man’s dark eyes stared down at Makoto. “Terribly sorry but I’ve noticed you've been standing here for a while. Looking for someone?”

 

Makoto’s mouth gaped slightly, staring up at the man. He had nothing in his mind; everything went blank.

 

The man then gave a smile. “Is he your boyfriend then?” Makoto’s eyelids lowered. “Golden eyes..” The man raised a brow. “Golden eyes?” _Ah, I bet she’s talking about Asami. No one can ever resist his looks after all._ “Well, how about I take you to him? That is if he’s the one you’re looking for.” Makoto’s eyes softened, giving a small nod. He now felt like he needed to see him again.

 

~

 

The man lead Makoto in an elevator within Carlé Suites, pushing a button. He then had his hands in his pockets. “Might you know his name? You did said golden eyes, didn't you?” Makoto gave a nod. “In that case, I’m sure he’ll tell you himself; taking you’re an admirer, perhaps?” Makoto stayed still. The man gave a chuckle. “Quite the quiet one, aren't you?” The doors soon opened. “This way.” The man beckoned Makoto to follow him.

 

The two stood in front of the door that read R47. The man grasped at the door knob. “Ah, guess he’s not here yet. He _is_ a busy man after all.” Makoto looked down at his feet. _What am I doing here..? No. I came here to see him, right..? The man with golden eyes..Yes..And then..I’ll just leave.._

 

“What are you doing here, Fei Long?”

 

Makoto stiffened. The deep, velvety voice that rang in the air had stunned him, allured by its richness. He turned his head. And there he was — a tall man with a dark suit stood not too far from the man beside him and himself. His hair remained neat as it was, the stray strands remained in the same place as well. There wasn’t a cigarette in the man’s lips this time but Makoto knew it’s the same man he saw. Makoto’s gaze meet piercing golden eyes — they lingered before the other man, called Fei Long, spoke up. “And right in the nick of time, welcome back, Asami.”

 

The man’s brows furrowed. “I’m only to be here for a moment, unless you got information about Makoto Kojima.”

 

Makoto stiffened. _About..me?_

 

Fei Long gave a chuckle. “I’m afraid I don’t just yet. However, I did end up finding an admirer who likes you.” Asami raised a brow, gazing at the woman behind Fei Long. Makoto stayed where he was; his heart rammed against his chest as those of “home” flashed in his head. _Are they looking for me? Does that mean..it’s the end now..?_

 

“Oi. You.”

 

Makoto bit his lip, hesitant to step away from the two men. “I...need..I…” He slowly looked up, seeing a large hand loom over his head. His eyes eventually glazed over. “I..I’ll be a good..boy..Please..don’t...hurt me..” Asami and Fei Long’s eye widened at the woman’s sudden behavior. “Boy?” Fei Long echoed. Makoto’s body started to shake. Asami grasped at Makoto’s shoulder, only to feel the shaking through his arm. _What on earth.._

 

Makoto dropped to his knees, his hands at Asami’s hips. “I-I’m a good boy..yes?” His fingers were about to fiddle with Asami’s belt until Asami had stepped back in utter disgust. Asami glared at Fei Long. “Is this some damn joke to mess with me?” Fei Long glared back. “Of course not — she was at the front of the hotel and she seemed perfectly normal.” Fei Long looked down at Makoto. “Or maybe..”

 

Asami watched as Fei Long yanked the woman up to her feet, pulled down the zipper at the back to reveal a flattened chest covered with scars and bruises along with some bandages. Fei Long glanced at Makoto’s frozen face. “So you’re Makoto Koijima. Thinking you’re clever to hide yourself by dressing up — disgusting.” He dropped the half-exposed Makoto on the floor. Makoto slowly gazed up at Asami, tears rolled down his cheeks. His mouth opened, but no words were spoken. Asami went to pull Makoto up to his feet before unlocking his suite, shoving the younger man in the room. Fei Long simply followed, closing the door behind him to watch Asami and Makoto.

 

“Undress yourself.” Asami spoke coldly. The shaking Makoto softly panted, slowly taking off his cardigan and the rest of his outfit until he was completely nude. His member was half-hard from Fei Long’s action of exposing him to Asami. Asami folded his arms, watching Makoto. “Now, what information has your family given out? And don’t try lying or hiding.” Asami glanced at Fei Long, who gave a nod understanding, before looking back at Makoto. Makoto stared at Asami, emotionless. “Fam..ily? You mean..the ones who fucked me hard til I almost died? I have no idea..”

 

Asami frowned. “This is serious business; if you don’t cooperate, you’ll get hurt.”

 

Makoto gave a chuckle, it started low before it gradually built up to where it nearly sounded manic. Asami and Fei Long quietly watched, seeing Makoto fall on his knees. Tears continued to be shed as Makoto’s mouth gaped open, spilling saliva. “Father, Mother — punish me!”

 

Akihito appeared behind Makoto, his eyes widened to see Asami and Fei Long eventually getting disturbed at Makoto’s snapped behavior. There's no stopping him, as he was back deep in belief he’s in his “home”. Akihito reappeared in front of Makoto with tears rolling down his cheeks. “Stop this!! Makoto! You’re not at that place no more!” Makoto kept laughing, eventually turning into sobs. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't real — he was stuck in his delusion, frozen. Akihito bit his lip, standing up to face his beloved and Fei Long. _Asami.._ He then glanced at a photo of himself and Asami at one of their anniversary dates, storming towards it to smash the glass frame at the floor.

 

Asami and Fei Long glanced at the shattered glass, surprised to how that happened . Fei Long helped himself to clean the glass while Asami stood in front of Makoto. Makoto hugged himself, uncontrollably shuddering. “I’ll be good..I’ll be good..I’ll be good..” Makoto’s softly muttered. Asami’s eyes hardened, kneeling down in front of Makoto. _He can’t really know.. Look at him and without a doubt, he’s traumatized. Was he not lying when he said his family screwed him up like that..?_ Asami gave a mental sigh. _Maybe if he calms down, he’ll be ready to tell. Tch. I have no time for this now._ Asami reached a hand out towards Makoto. “Oi. Stand up. I’ll get you a room to calm down — by then you'll have to spill everything out.”

 

Makoto stayed where he was, lifting his face to gaze at Asami. He said no more words, obeying Asami. Asami gave a sigh, beckoning Makoto to follow him further in the hallway to open a door at his left. “You’ll be staying here. Don’t try..anything.” The tall man watched Makoto walk in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed provided. Asami closed the door, glancing at Fei Long, who was on the opposite side of the hallway with his arms crossed. “There’s no doubt that Koijima isn’t of use.” He pulled out a cigarette, placing it on his lips.

 

Fei Long gave a quiet nod. “But you should at least interrogate him once more, like you said to him. He may know something, otherwise we’ll have to dispose him.” Asami lit his cigarette, inhaling the nicotine, gazing at the door behind him. “Or maybe..he knows of the location of his home. We could find the one responsible spilling my business while you can tend to yours. Fei Long, I’ll give you a call once I managed to get something out of Koijima.” Fei Long gave another nod, bidding a farewell until he took his leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the lag of this story, whether people stopped to care or not - otherwise thank you for your support! =]


	7. Chapter 7

It was around midnight by then. Asami was in the living room, smoking his cigarette as usual, and being lost in thought.  _ It's quiet. Has he calmed down? No, he should be by now. He didn't even bother to come out. _ He looked at the hallway to see Makoto’s door completely shut as he left it.  _..What a pain. _

 

Asami disposed his cigarette before walking for Makoto’s room, knocking on the door. “Koijima?” He opened the door, stiffening to see Makoto on the bed, shuddering more than ever. Makoto’s eyes were still glazed, his arms were reddened, bruised, and bloody due to continuous scratching, spilling some blood on the bed sheets. Asami rushed to Makoto, gripping at his bloody wrists tight. “What on earth are you doing?! You’re just being insane!” His composure had suddenly crumbled until he fell silent, seeing the stained blood on his hands. Asami went off to the closet to get a first-aid kit before kneeling in front to start treating Makoto’s wounds.

 

Makoto’s gaze shifted to Asami. His lip quivered, whimpering. “Was I a good boy..?” Asami looked up at Makoto. “Please don’t leave me..I promise I’ll be good.” Makoto’s shuddering had started to cease. Asami’s cold eyes softened, seeing Akihito rather than Makoto. He remembered the time he was kidnapped by a politician, drugging him and traumatizing him before coming to rescue him. Asami then caressed Makoto’s cheek. “You’re safe.. Don’t worry so damn much..Takaba.” Makoto sniffled, not aware he was called by Akihito’s name, and simply leaned to rest his forehead at Asami’s shoulder. “..Don’t take me back..please.” Asami’s eyelids lowered, realizing that Makoto finally calmed down and fell asleep. Asami had finished dressing Makoto’s wounds before dressing him in one of his dress shirts and moving him to another guest room, tucking the poor man in bed before leaving to close the door behind him. No words or thoughts were spoken, as both Asami and Makoto had met one another — bringing back memories that shouldn't ever become alive again.

 

~

 

Makoto woke up the following day, his head aching due to he couldn't remember much of what happened last night. He sat up, only to wince and see his bandaged arms.  _ What..happened..? _ Makoto looked around his surroundings. He definitely knew he wasn't at Hikaru’s as he saw the room was luxurious and fancy in decor. And before he could give another thought, his head to hear the door open to reveal Asami.

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. “Y..You..” His hands came up to his head, about to scratch at his scalp, only to have his hands gently grasped. Asami had appeared before Makoto. “Relax. I won’t interrogate nor hurt you anymore. But don’t you dare do anything reckless again.” He pointed at Makoto’s arms, clearing his throat afterwards. “However if you happen to know where your family's residence is, then I’m afraid you’ll be here a bit longer.”

 

Makoto gulped. “H-Home..?” Makoto was silent for a moment before looking down at his arms. Asami stared at Makoto. “I don't know about your background just yet...but are those scars from them?” Makoto didn’t respond. Now that he’s sober, he didn’t know what to do, and the thoughts would keep racing and racing until he’d break down. “Please..don't take me back there. I beg of you..” His voice was getting soft. Asami stood where he was.  _ I’m not going anywhere with this. But if I were to use force..the blood would..  _

 

“Sir..”

 

Asami watched as Makoto looked up at him, seeing his glossy eyes to see a familiar pain behind the nonchalant facade. Makoto reached a shaking hand out at Asami. There was anguish. No. This was the first time Makoto had shown emotion other than fear; there were multiple expressions but Asami couldn’t even tell whether Makoto was being sad or longing, or perhaps both. It was unclear. And just before Asami would say a word, his cellphone rang. Asami fished his phone out, answering it as he still stared down at Makoto. “Asami.”

 

[  _ ‘ Did you get anything from Koijima? ’ _ ]

 

It was Fei Long.

 

“I’m afraid not. He..doesn't know anything.” Asami sighed, finally breaking eye contact from Makoto. “What should we do?”

 

[  _ ‘ If that’s the case, get rid of him. He’s already witnessed his own piece of craze with last night. I’ve found out the location of the Koijima residence. I’ll see you at your place by noon. ’ _ ]

 

Asami heard the click of Fei Long hanging up, putting his phone away. He then went out of the room briefly before coming back to hand out a brown bag at Makoto. “Wear these and take your leave. Just..forget any of this or last night happened; I’ve wasted plenty of time by now because of you.” 

 

Makoto took the bag in his hands, peering down to see there was men's clothing. He didn’t say any words as he helped himself to change before sitting back down at the bed’s edge. Makoto looked up at Asami. “I thought..I heard your name last night. Please, before I go..I want to remember your name..” Asami’s neutral expression didn't change as he listened to Makoto. “..Ryuichi Asami.” Makoto’s eyes softened. “Asami..san.”

 

Makoto looked over his shoulder as he already left the suites. He still felt Asami’s gaze at him when he watched him leave. Makoto’s eyelids lowered, making his way back to Hikaru’s.

 

~

 

Makoto arrived at Hikaru’s salon, helping himself inside with the spare key underneath the doormat only to see Hikaru in his sleepwear, on one of the sofas on the waiting lobby, sniffling in his sleep. Tilting his head in wonder, Makoto went to Hikaru to squat beside him, threading his slender fingers through Hikaru’s brunette locks. “Hikaru..?” He softly spoke.

 

Hikaru’s eyelids fluttered open, then widening to see Makoto all in one piece. “M-Makoto!” He sat up to hug Makoto close. “My fucking god.. I thought you got killed or kidnapped or god who fucking knows.” Makoto looked at Hikaru’s face, seeing some faint smeared makeup and fresh and dried tears.  _ Hikaru.. _

 

The two went upstairs for Hikaru to fix his face before he and Makoto to settle at the living room. Hikaru clutched his hands together. “..What happened?” Makoto stared at Hikaru, turning his head to stare at the wall. “I..went out for a bit...and..went to Carlé Suites.” Hikaru’s gaze darted at Makoto. “You..” Makoto looked down at his lap. “I just wanted to see that man again..” His eyelids lowered. “Ryuichi..Asami.” His voice went soft. Makoto couldn't remember what had happened the night before so he didn't bother to tell Hikaru since there’d be nothing to say.

 

Hikaru scratched the back of his neck. “Makoto..Don’t ever go to him, okay? He’s dangerous.” Makoto looked at Hikaru. “Then what did he do to you?” His voice grew more softer. Hikaru sighed. “..It’s..It’s difficult to say. Please understand..” Makoto shook his head. “Tell me. You told me secrets can be bad, and if this man isn’t as bad, then what did he do to you?” Hikaru stared at Makoto, gaze narrowing down at the carpet. In hopes of Hikaru finally letting the mystery be told, Makoto patiently waited for Hikaru’s response.

 

But there was no response.

 

Hikaru stood up, still not saying a word. “..Just stay away from him.” He then left to his room, leaving Makoto alone in the silent abode.

 

\--

 

As the next couple of days progressed, Makoto had been thinking nonstop about being trapped in Asami’s gaze and wondering what had happened that night before; he could also recall hearing Akihito’s voice at one point but the memory was faint. Makoto gazed out of the window, recollecting over the events that occurred. He remembered heading to the suites to see Asami, then meeting a man that went with the name of Fei Long, heading inside the suite to meet Asami as Fei Long mistaken him to be an admirer. After that - everything was a blur. Akihito, on the other hand, had been absent for longer to where it seemed strange not to feel his relative’s presence around him. Deep within, Makoto can feel a warmth, a change that may even change his way and perspective of life.

 

Makoto looked back down at his desk, folding his arm before laying his head on the desk. He didn’t know what to think by then; eventually drifting off into slumber.

 

~

 

Asami stood behind the window of his office, staring down at the busy street of Tokyo. Ever since meeting Makoto at last, he too couldn’t forget about the boy who had never lived a life. It was strange. Asami hardly knows this young man, and yet he had helped him with his wounds and let him off as if he was nothing. The old Asami would’ve assaulted Makoto to get a bit more information or probably kill him on the spot; however that life seemed alien for Asami. Ironic, isn’t it? Perhaps it was all the life with Akihito that had changed him this way. And now that the one he wanted to protect most was forever gone, things never seem to be as they were in the past for the great Ryuichi Asami.

 

On the contrary, Fei Long had found the location of the Koijima residence and soon enough the leaking information feud would finally be over just like that. Asami’s gaze narrowed to see a flashback of a shuddering Makoto at his knees, asking whether he was being good. To think there’d be human being that can torture their own blood, simply sickened Asami to the gut.

 

“Asami-sama.” Asami turned his head, seeing one of his guards.

 

“Fei Long-san has arrived.” Asami gave a nod, watching as the guard walked out to reveal a Fei Long all dressed in his suit, something you wouldn’t see often. “Fei Long.” Asami greeted. Fei Long gave a nod in response, closing the door behind him. “I’ve given orders we’ll initiate the mission once my men find a hold of who’s behind the mess and we’ll track him down from there.”

 

Asami turned his body to face the Chinese man. “And to see you’d be willing to help me is unnerving.” He fetched for his cigarette, lighting it up. Fei Long crossed his arms, a faint scoff can be heard from his lips. “Please,  _ help _ isn’t the word to describe it. I’ll be doing my fair share of my duty and you take care your own mess. As if I’d take this the wrong way.” He walked up to Asami, raising a hand to caress Asami’s cheek. “But do tell - did that Makoto boy remind you of your precious Akihito, hm?”

 

Asami’s gaze narrowed, tempted to hold a gun against Fei Long’s head. “As if.” He exhaled smoke, warily moving his head away from Fei Long’s hand. Fei Long then leaned against Asami. “Two years, huh. That’s far too long for..any contact.” Asami’s body had stiffened as Fei Long’s hand wandered down at his crotch. “You bastard.” Asami gave a low growl, one hand being wrapped around Fei Long’s arm, gripping it tightly in a growing rage. Fei Long gave a coy smile. “Am I wrong?”

 

Asami didn’t respond for a moment before disposing his cigarette to forcibly kiss Fei Long, roughly tugging at his slacks to reveal his member. “Suck.” Fei Long had himself down at his knees, his hands at Asami’s thighs to start bobbing off at Asami’s girthy member. Fei Long couldn’t help but to smile more at Asami’s irritation and teasing him just to see more of that irritated side.

 

\--

 

“..koto. Makoto.”

 

Makoto’s eyelids fluttered open. He lifted his head. An unfamiliar figure was bent over him, only to cover his head with a bag. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow..I'm honestly surprised I've gotten additional comments after publishing Chapter 6. But I'm glad to hear y'all like it ^^
> 
> On the other hand, I did notice that, well actually, most of you wanted the story to be about Akihito and Asami. And yes, I too am a rather fanboy fan of the pairing as much as all of you; however this is a story I've made around 2015 about a pairing of Asami and a male OC. Perhaps I could write a work about an AU for our beloved Asami/Akihito once this work is finished. So by then, there'll only be mentions and flashbacks of Asami/Akihito's relationship and this story will focus for Asami/Makoto to bond and somehow make some sort of ending for the very final chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading this work and do look forward for future chapters!  
> \- M.


	8. Chapter 8

Hushed voices erupted in the air as Makoto regained his consciousness. All he could see was darkness; the air around him seemed humid yet damp as he can tell he wasn’t wearing any clothing. His hands and ankles were bound by iron chains, securing he where he was.

 

Makoto knows where he is at this point.

 

All the memories had started to flood within his simplistic mind. However for the first time in his life, he had an emotion that he never had before. As soon he know where he is, his body had an instinct to flee and never return to the living damned hell he lived by. He would run, run away as far as he can, even if he were to run out of breath. Inside, there was just simply one thing he subconsciously wanted to do: run. _Fear_. That was he was feeling at this very moment. In fact, it was as if he were hunted down like prey dashing away from a pack of wolves but then being held down, feeling sharp teeth at his throat. He felt vulnerable. He felt afraid. Makoto Koijima had already learned what fear is like; despite being taken in by Hikaru for these past few weeks. The feeling came naturally to him. But of course, that is a way of knowing you’re human in the end. Makoto just couldn’t see himself one, until now.

 

“It took a while 一 but glad to finally have you back, Jezebel. Quite the naughty decision to stray off like that.”

 

Yes, Makoto too also remembered being called the name he first had before his aunt had taken haste to give him a proper name. Jezebel; meaning ‘an impure follower of idols’. Isn’t it ironic? Makoto had been brainwashed by his very own flesh and blood for him to depend on them and them only. To believe he deserved to be treated lowly as dead livestock, or perhaps even nothing 一 is far cruel than anyone could imagine. To even believe it’s alright to be assaulted, beaten, yelled at, and not given respect nor acknowledgement that he’s not some plaything or roadkill to poke fun at, eventually gave Makoto another new emotion; _disgust_. Perhaps thanks to the kindness he’s been received by Hikaru, Asami, or perhaps random strangers, had changed him from whom he was before.

 

Makoto winced as he felt his hair being tugged at. He can smell the scent of alcohol in front of him; he can tell it was one of his uncles kneeling right in front of him. “Ya sure got nerve? But hell, you got more pretty. Oi, did you have to provide service to others to get yourself all warm and taken care of? The ways we taught ya?” Makoto didn’t respond. He gave a whimper to feel his hair being yanked with more force. “OI ANSWER ME!!” Makoto nearly gagged as bitter alcohol was forced down his throat. It was like an inconsumable fire, giving Makoto more memories of what his _family_ would do to intoxicate, change, use, and manipulate him. To make him simply forget of who he is.

 

Panting heavily, Makoto jerked his head away. He didn’t want to come back to the _life_ that tainted him; not when there was so much more to life beyond this household. He wanted to be with Hikaru, helping him around in the salon or maybe have movie nights the two would occasionally do. He wanted to explore more of the world that had so much more to offer despite his introvert nature. He even had another thought of seeing the man he caught himself being drawn towards to: Ryuichi Asami. “Fighting back, eh?” A sharp metallic pain hit at Makoto’s head, causing him to cry out in pain. The uncle took a glance, seeing Makoto’s father with a bloodstained metal bat. Makoto’s father gave a growl, kicking at Makoto and stepping upon him like the madman he is. Makoto couldn’t protect himself, it was useless in the end. Eventually the rest of the enlarged family came over for their turns to hit at Makoto as well as teasing him, manipulating him, and also giving sexual acts. By then Makoto’s senses had dulled, ever so slowly forgetting what he had done so far: his escape with the deceased soul of his cousin, meeting Hikaru and Asami, living a life of his own will and freedom.

 

~

 

Asami and Fei Long were in a limo as Fei Long caught track of the perpetrator. Asami had taken notice of seeing a semi-countryside view as the Makoto residence seemed to be far away from any contact of any authorities or even the nearest hospital. “There it is. On that hill.” Fei Long pointed out. Asami shifted his head; right past the few houses that were nearby, there was a single house on a hill, covered with vines and moss, as if to appear no one would be living there. Asami’s gaze narrowed. Somehow he couldn’t get the feeling of Makoto off his system.

 

_Koijima.._

 

The limo, along with a couple of others limos and cars, had stopped in front of the house. Asami and Fei Long had stepped out, gazing at the deserted-looking residency. The two had headed to the front door to see it was already open. Asami gave a frown, helping himself in to see the the inside of the house was all dim, but tidy and livable comparing to the outside appearance. There is no doubt that the Koijima family had lived here for so long; and to think one of his men would be related or perhaps working with them had stressed Asami further.

 

One of Fei Long’s guards had found a trapdoor down the hallway, opening it to reveal a metal spiral staircase that descended to a basement level of the home. Fei Long and Asami quietly headed down the staircase, eventually echoes of moans, grunting, and screaming. Taking a turn, Asami’s eyes widened in horror to see a woman and two elderly men having intercourse with Makoto. Makoto was all chained up, blindfolded, and in utter hopelessness as he was intoxicated with drugs and alcohol. Asami even took notice the scars and bruises Fei Long had mentioned, having himself grip tightly at the metal railing. Saliva and tears dripped down from Makoto’s face, crying out of who he is and crying out presumably the names of the people around him. He appeared more of a corpse, or perhaps even an animal at his condition. Blood was splattered all over the floor along with bodily fluids and spilled liquids. The air was filled with musk, humidity, and crude laughter and jeering; even Asami’s men along with Fei Long and his men were disturbed by the unforgettable sight.

 

One of Makoto’s arms seemed dislocated along with his left leg being all bruised up and swollen, giving a possibility of a bone fracture. The tainted man wailed in despair as he had wished to stop ever since a few of his family had cummed on or cummed inside him the first couple of times. “A-Ahnn! I..I!!” The blindfold had then slipped off by the woman who had clawed it off to look up at Makoto’s dark eyes. Tears blinded Makoto’s sight, his head then tilted back to where his eyes wandered to where the staircase was. His and Asami’s gaze had met, having time to merely stop for a moment. Makoto’s heart felt as if it skipped a beat as he indeed remembered one thing he knew before being forcibly intoxicated.

 

_Golden eyes.._

 

By then, Asami drew out his gun, shooting at the woman in sudden anger. He himself didn’t know what he was doing but just after he met Makoto’s gaze, he wanted everything to stop completly. He couldn’t bear to see the sight of Makoto being more broken down by this torment. Fei Long barked out orders to seize the surprised group, following down the railing with Asami. Asami shot down the two men who were clutched onto Makoto before dropping to his knees to hold the younger man within his arms.

 

Makoto slowly lifted his head. Even while being distorted, he gave a weak smile. “Asa..mi...san.” His head eventually dropped against Asami’s chest. Asami, being filled with swarming anger and growing panic, he held Makoto close. “Don’t you dare die just yet.” He stood up, having Makoto remain in his arms. Half of the family had been pinned on the ground while the remaining were either dead or were fortunate to escape somehow, meaning the feud would still have to continue on if that were the case. Fei Long walked up to Asami, narrowing his gaze with Makoto. “That bastard ran off, so I doubt we’d find him for another while.” He noticed Asami wasn’t paying attention, having the Chinese man to clear his throat. Asami shook his head, staring down at Fei Long. “..That can wait for now.” The taller man looked back at Makoto before giving an order to send a helicopter.

 

\---

Asami remained by Makoto’s side that night, glancing at the IVs and tubes that be inserted variously amongst the corpse-like body. The doctor had told him that Makoto had a near lethal dose of alcohol consumption as well as heavy illegal drugs, having severe wounds, and a fracture. You could even say it was a miracle to believe Makoto had encountered this type of activity all his life; however it seemed this recent act would’ve killed Makoto if Asami haven’t intervened at the time. Asami’s hand was gently placed upon Makoto’s, watching the young man sleep peacefully. _What even happened? Why were you there..?_

 

The door opened, revealing Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking this was pretty short than usual idk; but hopefully next chapter will be better ;3
> 
> -M


	9. Chapter 9

Concentrated fury was seen within Hikaru’s eyes as he and Asami made eye contact. “You..” He balled up his fists until he looked at Makoto, giving a drastic change of expression upon his face. He fell silent, heading over the side opposite from Asami. He then glared at Asami.

 

“How dare you..? You dare to take away the one I loved dear, and now you hurt my friend?” Asami’s gaze narrowed. “I’m sorry, but do I know you?” Hikaru gritted his teeth. “Heh. You don’t even remember me. Well, it doesn’t matter now. I’ll take Makoto away once he’ll be dismissed here.” Asami’s hand retracted back to Asami’s side as he stood up, towering over Hikaru. “And who do you think you are to make decisions here? Whoever you are,” Asami gave a quick pause. “I’m the one held responsible for Koijima’s behalf.” Hikaru grasped at Asami’s loosened necktie, his fuming anger slowly growing. “I’m his _friend_ . I’m the one who helped him after all he went through; while you — you know _nothing_ of him. And god you knows what you’ll do to him, you damn piece of shit.” Asami’s cold stare bored into Hikaru’s rage, saying no words. It was true; he knew nothing of Makoto, but he wanted to keep Makoto close, and to protect him from any more harms despite knowing him for a short time period. Or perhaps it was something more. Asami then cleared his throat. “Even then; he’ll be with me until he gets a move on at recovering.”

 

“Tch.” Hikaru shoved himself away from the hospital bed. “Unbelievable..” He irritably muttered. He pointed at Asami. “Just you wait; Makoto will come back to me because he trusts _me_. I don’t trust you one goddamn bit, Ryuichi Asami.” And with that, Hikaru had stormed out of the room.

 

Asami heard a soft moan, looking down at the bed to see Makoto’s head moving slightly. Makoto’s eyes fluttered open, gazing up at Asami. “Asami..san?” His voice was weak. Asami’s eyelids lowered, sitting back down on his chair, giving a nod. “How are you feeling?” Makoto stared at him before responding. “Kinda numb..but I’m fine.” Asami gave another nod. “That’s good..That’s good.”

 

Makoto’s fingers twitched, slowly reaching out at Asami’s direction. “..That was Hikaru, wasn’t it? I thought..I heard him..” Asami was silent again, but gave a nod. “I take he’s the one taking care of you. I’m sorry but you’ll be under my custody for the time being until you’re healed. Don’t bother to do anything reckless.” Makoto’s expression gave a troubled look but he eventually turned his head to gaze at the door. _Hikaru.._

 

~

 

The following week, Makoto had been told he’ll move in with Asami by the following evening. Even if he didn’t give protest, Makoto still felt uneasy around Asami. He doesn’t know him on a personal level yet Asami was persistent to take care of him until then. Makoto brought a hand up to his mouth, biting at his fingernail before gazing out at the window. _Hikaru.. I could’ve sworn he sounded angry. He..He was angry towards Asami-san.._ Makoto looked down at his lap, the tray that the nurse had given him remained untouched. Lately he had been avoiding eating ever since he returned from his conflict meeting Asami and learning his name. Makoto’s face crinkled slightly as he stared more at the over-easy eggs that were accompanied with sausage, rice, and milk. _I don't wanna eat.. I..don't feel like it._

 

“Is there something wrong with your food?”

 

Makoto jumped, turning his head to see Asami closing the door behind him. The tall man wore a grey dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a double gun shoulder-holster, neat slacks, and polished shoes. It was as if Makoto was looking at a model from a magazine. “Oi.” Asami was already standing close by the bed; his gaze seemed worried, or perhaps neutrality. Makoto bit his lip. “..I’m not hungry.”

 

Asami gave a soft frown. “You must eat. You have to keep your strength.” Makoto shook his head, looking away. “No..” Asami then came up close, squishing Makoto’s face with a firm hand. His gaze were their piercing selves as Makoto found himself trapped in that familiar gaze. “Eat. Or I’ll feed you myself.” By then Makoto’s body started to shudder, having Asami to realize what he’s doing and took a step back. There were pigmented finger dents where Asami’s fingers pinched upon Makoto’s cheeks. Asami gave a sigh, helping himself back in his chair. He couldn’t possibly have himself break out of composure, however he had been wondering about Makoto nonstop; even he himself wasn’t so sure why is that. He’d think it was because of the event he witnessed the past week but otherwise, he’d be stressed ever since Makoto got taken in the hospital. “Asami-san..?” Makoto stared at Asami. His eyelids lowered, deciding to eat, hoping it’ll soothe the older man’s stress. After doing so, Makoto’s hand slowly reached out and softly pinched a part of Asami’s sleeve. Asami looked up, gazing at Makoto’s soft expression of worry. This was a whole difference when they had met for the second time at the suites. Seeing Makoto giving expression, it made him more human like than the doll-like figure he appears as.

 

The door opened to reveal a doctor with a clipboard in hand. “Asami-san, may I have a word with you?” Asami had stood up, giving a nod before leaving Makoto in the room.

 

After a short while, Asami came back in the room, catching Makoto’s attention. He loomed over the smaller man, his hand about to pet Makoto’s head until it dropped back to his side. Asami, frowning at his unconscious action, gave a sigh. “We’ll be heading back to my place by tonight, just to remind you. Will there be anything you need before you settle?” Makoto stared up at the tall man with dark, curious eyes. He didn't respond, or more rather, he took Asami’s hand, placing the older man’s palm on top of his head. Makoto had felt a _zap!_ kind of sensation as to he wasn’t so sure what he just did, however the feeling felt nice compared to having his hair yanked at places. Asami raised a brow, watching Makoto. The younger man closed his eyes, nuzzling against Asami’s hand, softly humming in content. Asami’s body relaxed, continuing to watch Makoto being calm and mellow.

 

~~

 

Asami opened the door, pushing Makoto in his wheelchair along the hallway towards his guest room. It was around 22:00 at this time. Makoto seemed exhausted from the moving process hours prior. Asami then carried Makoto to his bed, gently placing him on the luxurious mattress like a precious porcelain doll. Makoto looked up at Asami, wondering what’ll happen then. Asami was about to turn his heel to head to the living room, only to feel the back of his shirt being tugged. He turned his head, seeing a wide-eyed Makoto. “Kojima?” Makoto tugged at Asami’s shirt again, his eyes slowly turning into a familiar emotion Asami recognizes: fear. “Don’t..leave.” Makoto softly gasped. Asami turned his body, kneeling in front of Makoto. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just order some food and be right back.” Makoto shook his head, tears running down his face. “D-Don’t..go…” Asami gave a sigh, helping himself to sit next to Makoto. Not to stir any further relapses, as told from the doctor, and future stress, Asami had decided to remain by Makoto’s side the remainder of the night.

 

Makoto leaned against Asami. No words were spoken, just silence. Asami watched as Makoto lifted his head. The two stared at one another before Asami broke contact. His gaze had wandered at a visible scar at Makoto’s shoulder. His hand was about to give contact, having Makoto to shift and give slight trembling. Asami’s eyelids lowered. “Does it hurt?” His voice lowered. Makoto was silent before shaking his head. He helped himself to pull down the hospital gown’s sleeve to show a large scar that curved among his shoulder. He didn’t move, having Asami a realization for granted permission to touch. As trust was thin for Makoto, he couldn’t help but to feel a warmth towards Asami. He had been intrigued to see and know his name from the beginning and now here he is, all being nursed by the notorious Ryuichi Asami.

 

Asami’s hand carefully glided at Makoto’s skin, seeing the bruises and bandages as well. Simply looking at Makoto; the sight of him had reminded him of the time Akihito had been shot by one of Mikhail’s men. Yes, he too remembered the fear he saw within his partner’s eyes as well as other traumas Akihito faced as he was being held hostage. _Two years, huh. Even then, all those memories that had happened..seem so recent._ Asami’s brows furrowed. He then gently pinned Makoto down at the bed, surprising the young man. “A-Asami-san?” Memories started to flood back within his mind; even if the perpetrator is Asami, he still gets shaken at acts of intimacy. In fact, he simply wanted to forget everything that had happened. Even better, perhaps he shouldn’t exist if he ended up being used like a toy that’ll end up being tossed away, to so he wouldn’t have to know the life he had. “St-Stop.. Please..” Asami, ever getting consumed by his memories with Akihito, couldn’t hear Makoto’s protests, eventually tying Makoto’s wrists tight with his necktie and clawing Makoto’s gown off of him to reveal a bruised up, damaged body. Makoto uncomfortably shifted underneathe Asami, his mouth gaping open to cry out, only to be cut off by the cold lips of Asami. Asami’s fingers caressed over the poking bones of Makoto’s torso and eventually stroking at Makoto’s member. “Don’t worry.. I’ll be gentle, Takaba.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. _Taka..ba..? Wh..What does Akihito have to do with Asami-san..?_ He gave a moan as Asami’s mouth succumbed his member down to the shaft, swirling his tongue skillfully with lustful longing. Makoto would try to kick Asmai if he could; however his left leg is currently in a cast and he knew he’d be far too weak to fight against a stronger man such as Asami. His tied hands had clenched, failing to hold back any sounds as his body was getting hot and stimulated by Asami’s actions. Makoto gritted his teeth, cumming in Asami’s mouth soon enough. Asami lifted his head, staring down at the flustered Makoto, licking the remains of the younger man’s cum off his lips. He unzipped his slacks, grasping his thickened member as he pumped it rhythmically to his pleasure. “It’s been too long..” He muttered, teasing at his head, making himself more hard before helping himself to poke the head at Makoto’s arse. Asami placed his hands at either side of Makoto’s head. “N-No!” Makoto wailed as he weakly threw his hands at Asami's chest in attempts of punching him off. He squealed as Asami forcibly shoved his member within him.

 

_In.._

 

_Out._

 

_In.._

 

_Out._

 

Asami grunted and growled as his thrusts grew stronger, wrapping his arms around Makoto. _So tight.. Takaba.._ Makoto gritted his teeth, helplessly sobbing as his protests continued to be worthless as they were. Just a week ago, he had faced the hell he was born with and now he’s being violated by the man who he felt a strange warmth to. Now that warmth had faded as it had been _broken,_

 

_tarnished,_

_simply ruined._

 

With one final attempt, Makoto had swung his hands at the side of Asami’s head, having the thrusting to stop. Asami gave a low groan, wincing slightly at the sudden impact. He looked down, seeing a tear and red-faced Makoto. “K-Koij--” Asami’s eyes widened to watch Makoto hit at him again, back away from him til his back met the wall. Asami looked him, stiffening to see blood at his member, which lead a trail of the thick substance towards the shuddering Makoto. _Did..I do that..?_ Asami had reached a hand out at Makoto, having the younger man flinch. “G-Get out.. GET OUT!” Asami couldn’t believe what he had just done and seeing rage at Makoto for the first time. He couldn’t move a muscle at the time. Makoto kept screeching until Asami had helped himself out and shut the door behind him.

 

Looking down at his reddened member, Asami bit his lip, punching at the wall in disgust.

 

_Blood.._

 

_I.._

 

_Takaba.. No.. This is Koijima I’m dealing with._

 

_Dear god.. Why did I do that..?_

 

_No.._

 

_I’m not like them._

 

Asami had himself cleaned before heading to the balcony. His gaze hardened, remembering the rage and betrayal within Makoto’s eyes.

 

_Koijima.._

 

_I’m not..like that._


	10. Chapter 10

Asami gave a soft grunt, fluttering his eyes open to wince at the sunlight that blinded him. As he rubbed his eyes, he sat up to give a quick stretch and get off the bed. He simply wore sweatpants, his chest being bare to show off his chiseled figure. His head then rose, smelling the familiar smell of breakfast being cooked. _Ah..another dream, isn’t it?_ He quickly headed to the kitchen to see a humming Akihito, shirtless with his boxers along with an apron. Asami’s eyes couldn't help but soften at the sight. Even if he was fully aware his dreams with Akihito were actually fragments of his memories with Akihito, simply dreams that’ll remain a dream — Asami can’t possibly forget his cherished moments with the one he held dear most.

 

Akihito turned his head to see Asami at the doorway, giving that bright grin that Asami loved. “Ah, mornin’! The rice and coffee should just be about ready, and the bath is ready for you.” Asami walked up to Akihito, having an arm wrapped around Akihito to hold him close. “I’m back..” He gave a low murmur. Akihito struggled against Asami, a noticeable reddened blush was painted at his face. “H-Hey..The eggs will burn.” He gave a pout, gently bumping off Asami to finish cooking. “Just get yourself ready. I’ll be here.” Asami stared at Akihito a bit longer before helping himself at the bathroom in his bedroom.

 

After prepping himself for the day, Asami adjusted his tie before heading to the kitchen to see Akihito sitting at the dining table, a cigarette upon his lips as he stared down at the coffee he made for Asami. Asami gave a soft stifle of a chuckle as he walked up to the table. “And I take you prepped my cigarette as well?”

 

Akihito blushed, taking the cigarette between his fingers. “O-Of course not.. I was just..tasting it.” He eventually passed the cigarette to Asami, giving a complaint of the ashy taste. Asami gave a smile, helping himself to eat breakfast and drink coffee while he contently listened to Akihito’s ramblings. _Yes.. It’d always be like this. He'd be awake before me to help me get ready. The food is good as always..but the smoking seemed a bit off.._ He glanced at Akihito, who was watching him with a half-smile. “..What is it?”

 

Akihito shook his head. “Nothing really.” Asami stared at Akihito. The young man eventually gave a strange look of apathy. “Hey.. Remember that thing you’d tell me? About how you’ll take me to the depths of hell and all that?” Asami was silent, but nodded. Akihito rested his chin at his palm. “What if I told you right now that I’m always around, waiting for you to take me with you then? I never would’ve thought I’d become this important to you..until I found out I loved you..and the plans you had for me before I left.” He leaned forward. “You can’t let me go, can you?” Asami stiffened. Whether that was true or not, this was still a dream, nothing was real; however it was truth of what Akihito just said. He then glanced down at the table, eventually remembering what he did to Makoto. His fingers gripped at the mug’s handle, cringing at the memory. Akihito simply watched, no emotion was written in his eyes. “Asami.”

 

Asami slowly met Akihito’s gaze. Akihito’s stare bored into his golden orbs, captivated by his gaze. “Taka--”

 

Asami had heard a loud thud, causing the vivid dream to end, and being back in reality as he woke up abruptly. He sat up. He found himself to be sleeping at the couch of the living room. He gave a sigh, threading his fingers through his hair in stress. _Takaba.._ The thudding happened again, giving Asami realization it was coming from Makoto’s room. Asami quickly stood up, heading to open the door to see Makoto on the floor. Makoto was making an effort to walk but due to his cast, he couldn’t walk without assistance. Makoto heavily panted, trying to get up once more until he fell into Asami’s arms as Asami was there to stop him. “Oi.. What are you --” Asami gave a frown as Makoto slapped him in sheer anger; it was clear he’s still upset from last night.

 

“Hey.” Asami held Makoto close, gradually carrying him back to the bed. Makoto was all naked from last night, his arse and inner thighs were smeared with dried blood. Asami had said no words, walking in the restroom to dampen a small towel before heading back to Makoto, handing out the towel towards the young man. “Clean yourself while I’ll get you some clothes.” Makoto quietly took the towel, avoiding Asami’s gaze. Asami fetched his phone, dialing one his men to buy spare clothes for Makoto.

 

Makoto had cleaned himself, lifting his head to look at Asami while the tall man was on the phone. There were faint eye bags underneath his eyes, simulating lack of sleep due to taking care of Makoto. Makoto stayed quiet, remembering the night events before and simply lied down at the bed to look at the wall, his back facing Asami. Asami had hung up, dialing hotel service to bring breakfast. “Hey. I’ll be heading out for a while. Make sure you eat when I’m gone.” By then the clothes and food had arrived; Asami had taken the two at Makoto’s room on the nightstand. “..I’ll be going now.” And with that, he left, locking the apartment door.

 

~

 

Makoto sat up, looking over at the nightstand to see a tray with steamed rice, miso soup, and grilled fish; there was a bottle of water and a bowl of fruit added as well. He slowly had his legs over the edge of the bed, helping himself with the soup before finishing the rest of the meal. He stared down at his legs. No thought had came to him by then; he simply kept staring.

 

“Makoto.”

 

Makoto lifted his head, seeing Akihito standing not too far from him. There was a tense silence before Akihito gave a sigh and went ahead to sit beside Makoto. He took a glance at Makoto, worry was written in his eyes. “I’m sorry for being gone so long.. I just..needed space..and I couldn’t think Asami would do such a thing..” Makoto bit his lip. “..He keeps calling me by your name. Why is that?” Akihito too went quiet. He hugged a single leg against his chest. “Asami..Asami was my partner. We’ve been together at least for a year or so. I..couldn’t tell you this because there’s no need to be involved with him as to he has changed and..an that it pains me to talk about him.” Makoto’s eyes widened in wonder. “Partner..” He echoed. “Like a..boyfriend?” Akihito gave a weak smile, nodding. His smile didn’t last as he looked as if he were to cry.

 

“But yeah.. Sometimes I’d go see him when I’m not with you..or in his dreams, however I try to avoid the dreams since it’d distress him more. The last time I visited his dream..was last night.” Makoto kept at watching Akihito, watching his cousin sniffle and fight back tears. “Sometimes..I wished I didn't have to leave so soon.. I mean..he’s all alone, crying, and..heartbroken...Never have I seen him like that throughout my life with him. He used to be all stoic, composed, and keeps his cool no matter what; but look at him now — constantly thinking about me wherever he goes..” Akihito gave a hesitant sigh. “It’s incredible really...How he’d still love me to this day.. God I’ve missed him so much. His touch..His smile..His warmth..His love; just everything about him, I can’t have it anymore.” Tears rolled down Akihito’s cheeks. “He..He’s…” In the blink of an eye, he had faded away.

 

“Aki..?” Makoto looked around, confused and concerned. “Aki? Where did you go..?”

 

Silence.

 

All was silent again.

Never will Makoto understand the strong bond love could offer and affect those who were involved.

 

~

 

Asami had came back around noon, heading to Makoto’s room to check on Makoto. “Koijima?” He opened the door to see Makoto lying on the bed, fast asleep. Asami helped himself inside, looming over the bed to watch Makoto sleeping peacefully. However it turned out Makoto wasn’t asleep, seeing that Makoto’s eyes had open before his head turned to look up at Asami. Asami was about to back away until Makoto called him out, grasping at Asami’s hand. Asami’s eyes widened, surprised at Makoto’s behavior compared how he looked at him last night. “Koijima..” Makoto had brought his cheek to nuzzle against Asami’s callused fingers. _Is this..the hand he held with Aki..? Or maybe..a fist that’d ball up as Asami-san would cry? I..I couldn't have known in the end._ Makoto’s gaze wandered up at Asami. _Even after what I heard from Aki..Asami-san..He kept his all until now.._

 

“Koijima.” Asami had stared down at Makoto, hesitant whether to take his hand back or not to avoid any further harm to the younger man. Makoto had then let go of Asami’s hand, giving an attempt to stand only to fall and lean against Asami. “Oi.. What’s with you?”

 

Makoto’s heartbeat quickened. With a short gasp of breath, he clutched at Asami’s suit. “I..I’m sorry.”

 

“Sorry?” Asami gently had his hands at Makoto’s shoulders, feeling familiar trembling. “Koijima, just take a seat and I’ll--” Makoto shook his head. “I trusted you..and that I was right.. That you are hurt inside. I didn’t want t-to hurt you that night but..but to hear you’d cry..Wh-Why bother if I didn’t know?”

 

Asami gave a frown. “Just calm down. You’re not making any sense.” His gaze narrowed to see tears dripping at Makoto’s face. Makoto weakly pounded a fist at Asami’s chest, his legs eventually giving out, having his light weight against Asami. The older man had moved Makoto back onto the bed, his hands giving a firm grip at Makoto’s shoulders. “Koijima.” Makoto’s eyes widened as he looked into Asami’s clouded orbs.

 

“Aki..” Makoto faintly spoke.

 

Asami’s grip had loosened, hearing that familiar part of Akihito’s name. His lips transitioned into a thin line, his head turned away as his hands fell to his side.

 

There was that silence again. Asami had gone out of the room without a second to mentally cool off, while Makoto was left behind with tears, stressing about a love he’d never understand.

 

~~

 

At a point, Asami had headed back to Makoto’s room to give him lunch. Makoto was sitting at his bed, quietly staring at the wall. He gave a sniffle, rubbing at his eyes before looking over his shoulder to see Asami. Asami wasn’t looking at Makoto directly but he simply placed the bento he bought on the nightstand. “A-Asami-san..” Makoto hesitantly spoke. Asami gave his head a shake. “Just eat. I’ll be heading out soon.” He adjusted his blazer, clearly hearing a whimper from Makoto. Asami couldn’t bring himself to look at Makoto, deciding to give space between the both of them. Makoto gave a faint whine, having a temptation to reach out at Asami but know he said something to upset the great Ryuichi Asami.

 

Makoto didn’t bother to eat his lunch; instead he gave an attempt to crawl out of his room. And there he knew: Asami was out at the balcony; the door being slightly open, smoking his cigarette while looking out at the city. Makoto, despite the discomfort, crawled towards the sliding doors of the balcony, watching Asami seem distant and cold where he stood. Faint grey strands of hair were noticeable in sight, his suit wasn’t properly ironed, and the strong scent of cigarettes were getting prominent than before. The more Makoto stared at Asami, he’d know he’s thinking of Akihito at this very moment; while others wouldn’t bat a lash to wonder what Asami thinks about or whether they’d never knew what would be in his mind.

 

“I thought I told you to eat.”

 

Makoto kept his ground, surprised to realize Asami knew he was watching him this whole time. Asami turned his head, seeing Makoto on the floor. Holding the cigarette between his lips, Asami slid the door fully before picking up Makoto to place him on one of the sofas in the living room. Makoto looked up at Asami. “..” Asami went to close the balcony door alongside with the disposal of his cigarette. He stood close the kitchen, his hands in his pockets as his gaze was steadily focused on Makoto.

 

Makoto ducked his head for a moment. “I’m sorry if I made you..upset. I just..want to know if you're okay.” He looked at Asami, who seemed unfazed by his words. Asami had himself stand in front of Makoto, gently grasping at his chin. “Are you afraid of me?”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. Is he truly afraid of him? Even after what he had done to him the night before? Sure he can’t let him off completely, but Makoto felt as if he can trust Asami irregardless. He may not know him well, what he’d be capable of, or even know whether it’s alright to be alongside him — however Makoto had been yearning for that warmth he first had for Asami before it was lost due to Asami’s actions. In short words, Makoto wanted to help Asami as much as Asami had been helping him. It was unfortunate for Makoto to not realize he’ll be feeling that can be toxic and fragile but can be full of warmth and endearing, a certain emotion we may all know.

 

Makoto gave his head a simple shake. “No.”

 

Asami then knelt in front of Makoto, having eye-to-eye contact. Those familiar piercing eyes had steadied Makoto, it was as if Asami had taken Makoto’s breath by a gaze. Asami’s face was about to lean in towards Makoto until Makoto had turned his face downwards briefly before looking back at Asami. “..No.” Asami stared at Makoto before helping himself to sit at an armchair nearby the sofa. Makoto watched Asami. _Did he..tried to kiss me? Why..? Doesn’t he love Aki?_ The young man, disheartened, had sunk in the sofa as he and Asami had remained in the living room.

 

  * ••



 

Another week has passed by.

 

Makoto had started to use crutches and his wounds were giving a slow, however well done, recovery as expected. Asami would head in his office every once in while to focus on work and then to heading back to the suites to take care of Makoto. He mainly had Makoto settled in his room for him to save and keep up his energy until the doctor had instructed Asami that Makoto would be ready for crutches and future physical therapy in a couple of months.

 

Makoto had sat on one of the chairs of the dining table, lightly swinging his legs like a dainty child. As for the bond between Asami and Makoto, Asami seems to avoid the topic of Akihito and gives cautious contact upon Makoto, even asking permission to pet, carry, or any form of touch in any way to give Makoto his intentions of being a considerate caretaker. Makoto then hugged at his good leg against his chest. Akihito had also given his return, he wouldn’t stay long as to whenever he’d give himself stress or breakdown, he’d simply fade away with no warning. Makoto wouldn’t know what to do but just wait for Akihito to appear back within time. Of course he’d like to know more about the relationship between Akihito and Asami but had a common sense to stir no more tension in the air. Makoto’s eyelids lowered. _Asami-san..loves Aki. But even when he..touched me inappropriately..that wasn’t love..was it?_ Makoto heard footsteps, raising his head to see Asami walk in the kitchen. “Asami-san.” Makoto gave a quiet greeting.

 

Asami gave a nod in reply, walking up to Makoto. His hand hovered over Makoto’s head as in asking permission to pet Makoto. Makoto gave a nod, softly humming as Asami genuinely petted him. Asami gave a faint smile. “May I touch your face?” Makoto looked up at Asami, nodding again. Asami’s hand descended to caress Makoto’s faintly bruised cheek, his thumb gently brushed against Makoto’s petite lips. The two had given a moment of gazing one another until a knock as heard at the door. Asami’s hand had withdrawn as his gaze narrowed at the corridor that lead to the entrance. He walked down, hand on the doorknob before opening it to reveal Fei Long.

 

Fei Long gave a smile. “Took you long enough.” Asami gave a frown. “What are you doing here?” Fei Long crossed his arms. “Is that how you treat an acquaintance? Anyway, I’m here to discuss about the guard that posed to be working for you. There’s a chance he’s still in Japan _and_ around this area.” Asami gave a nod, looking over his shoulder to see Makoto looking out the window. Fei Long had followed his gaze. “ _And_ you’re taking care of Koijima? You sure surprise me in various ways, Ryuichi Asami.” He gave a coy smile. Slipping past Asami, Fei Long took off his shoes before resuming to walk up to Makoto. “Hello, Koijima-kun.”

 

Makoto turned his head, stiffening at the sight at Fei Long. _H..He’s…_

 

“Koijima, it’s alright. Fei Long here is a..subordinate of mine.” Asami had followed Fei Long, appearing behind the feminine looking Chinese man. Fei Long smiled as Makoto stared at him with a blank mind. This was the same man who had brought him to Asami; he wore a suit along with his long silky hair pulled up into a ponytail this time. Makoto said no words, eventually looking down at his knee, playing with stray strands from holes of his jeans. Fei Long gazed at Asami. “Can’t even tame the boy with some manners? Honestly, and to think I’m related to him quite worries--” Fei Long gave a chuckle as Asami gave him a death glare, looking back at Makoto. “Koijima-kun, I’m Liu Fei Long; I’m a distant cousin of yours, well, not by blood, rest assured. One of my relatives happened to marry one of your relatives and so now,” Fei Long loomed over Makoto. “It’s a pleasure to properly meet you, _cousin_.”

 

“Fei Long!” Asami growled.

 

Makoto stiffened, his eyes trembling as the suppressed memories were making a relapse. Asami bumped past Fei Long to firmly grasp at Makoto’s arms. “Koijima. Oi! Look at me!”

 

Makoto gave a soft gasp, seeing Asami’s face in front of his. Asami’s face was composed however there was deep concern for Makoto as he gave his effort to bring Makoto back in the present. “That’s already over, remember..? You’re safe with me.” Those words had slid with ease throughout Asami's mouth as Asami gave no given thought to his words. Makoto bit his lip, nodding, and his memories had ceased by a short while. Asami had glared at Fei Long after giving Makoto some medication and pats. “You’re testing me, and you may as well cross the line. Either we’ll talk about the man or you’ll be strangled for doing such a thing to Koijima.”

 

Fei Long frowned. “It’s not like he’s like your Akihito. Say, what is Koijima-kun to you now? It’s not really _your_ fault he got kidnapped by his family, that’s _his_ problem.” Asami’s eyes widened in anger, his hands clenching into fists. Fei Long looked at Makoto. “..Or maybe you’ll just use him as a plaything and pretend he’s Akihito? Is that it? No, tell me, why is he here with you? Hell I doubt he wanted to recover here willingly, didn’t he?”

 

Asami’s teeth gritted, storming towards Fei Long to swing a punch below at his chin. Fei Long had dodged, however Asami’s punch got him at the cheek, causing the Chinese to take a few steps back from Asami. Fei Long glared at Asami wiping some blood off his lip. “And all riled up for some boy you hardly give a damn for. Tch. I’ll go talk another time. I can’t stand to talk and stay when you get angry like that.” Fei Long made his way to the corridor, giving a last glance at Makoto. “You better be sure you too don’t sink into his abyss.” By then, he left.

 

Asami pinched at bridge of his nose. “Damn that bastard..” He muttered. He eventually walked back to Makoto. “Koijima, don’t pay him no mind. You don’t need to be involved with him; if he does hurt you..” Asami clenched his fists. “I’ll kill him.”

 

Makoto didn't bother to lift his head; he seemed quiet and somewhat off. Asami didn’t bother to disturb him, about to turn away until he heard a soft voice. He looked over his shoulder. Makoto turned his head, resting it on his knee as his gaze bored at Asami.

  
“Why _did_ you take me in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly can't believe the amount of liking this piece of work has received and I couldn't thank you all enough ;w;
> 
> Also..did anyone saw the recent update of Viewfinder?? Cause like..I was screaming my head off and loving every moment of font and artwork I read <3
> 
> -M


	11. Chapter 11

Asami kept a steady gaze at Makoto. The young man continued to stare at the tall man. “Even if you were kind enough to have me stay here..why bother? I only wanted to know your name.” Half of what Makoto said was true; however as much as he wanted to find that warmth he seeks, he too shared the wonder of why Ryuichi Asami had committed himself to help a boy with little to no significance. Asami, placing his hands in his pockets, gave a quiet sigh. “There doesn’t have to be a reason, is there?”

 

Makoto’s brows slightly furrowed. “Liar.” He gave a sniffle, turning his head away.

 

It’s not as if Asami had a real reason; but would a man related to the man he loved be that important of priority? Asami knew Makoto isn’t Akihito, that was obvious enough after forcing himself on him. He walked up to Makoto, standing beside him. “..I don’t have a reason to take of you. It’s..” Makoto lifted his head as he heard Asami stray from his words. “It’s?”

 

Asami turned his gaze. “I made the choice to help you; this isn’t an obligation, I'll tell you that. And,” He looked back at Makoto, their gazes meeting one another. “I don’t have intentions of having you go quite yet once you do recover completely..” Asami’s hand had hovered close to Makoto’s face. Makoto kept quiet before leaning over to have his cheek caressed. _Not having me go yet? What does he mean..?_

 

Makoto looked up at Asami. ”I’d..like to see Hikaru.”

 

Asami’s gaze narrowed. “I’m afraid I can’t be able to do that.”

 

Makoto seemed hurt by the response. “Wh-Why?”

 

Asami’s hand retracted back to Asami’s pocket as his expression turned grim. “It’d be dangerous to let you off alone. And as you can’t tell..he and I aren’t in the best of..terms. Just understand and wait until you’ve healed.” Asami had helped himself to sit across Makoto, watching as Makoto stared off into space; he too wondered what would be in the boy’s mind. He then felt his back pocket vibrating, grabbing his phone within and answered. “Asami.”

 

[ _‘ If you show yourself around in public, prepare for your execution. Now, if you don’t wish to die — bring Makoto Koijima to me safe and sound; otherwise your high-horse ass will be exposed by then. ’_ ]

 

Asami heard the click of the ended call. Frowning, he looked at the phone screen to see the number was unknown. _..Could this be the one?_

 

“Asami-san?”

 

Asami turned his head, seeing Makoto standing beside him with his crutches underneath his arms. Makoto tilted his head in worry of Asami. “Are you..alright?”

 

Asami had relaxed at the sight of Makoto, giving him a nod. “It’s nothing, but thank you.”

 

~~

 

Around the following day, Asami had gone off to work while Makoto was left alone as he would be. Makoto had himself at the living room watching the television. And within time, it was obvious anyone will be bored in this situation. So then Makoto had his cellphone in hand, dialing Asami; despite the number was only for emergencies since he _is_ a busy man after all.

 

[ _‘ Asami. ’_ ]

 

Makoto’s heart fluttered at the velvety tone of Asami. Clutching at his chest, he gave a reply. “It’s me.”

 

[ _‘ Koijima? What is it? Do you need something? … Koijima?’_ ]

 

Makoto shook his head. “It’s nothing really.. Just..wanted to hear your voice.” There was a brief silence at Asami’s line before Makoto heard the reply.

 

[ _‘ Do you want me to stop by? It won’t be long since I have to get back. … I’m sorry to have you cooped up in there. It’s for your safety, you understand right?’_ ]

 

Makoto leaned against the sofa, nodding again in understanding. Even then, he’ll simply listen what he is told; not because of obligation, but the fact what he himself wouldn’t know what to do in his situation. It’s either he stays and be safe or get out and get kidnapped, possibly assaulted as well; or in a worst scenario: _death_. “Please do..”

 

[ _‘ Alright. I’ll see you soon then. ’_ ]

 

Makoto hanged up, closing his eyes. His breathing was soft and light as he patiently waited for Asami. Sitting up help himself off the sofa, applying his crutches on to head onto Asami’s bedroom. There’d be times Makoto would pass by the room to see Asami sitting at his bed, looking distressed. He’d have a picture frame within hand; which Makoto had assumed it was a picture of him and Akihito before Akihito’s death.

 

Opening the door, Makoto saw that the room was messy as he’d recall. There was a pile of unwashed clothing close by at the bathroom, the bed wasn’t made, an ashtray, filled with cigarette butts, was settled at his nightstand, and there were clusters of beer bottles and cans from possibly months and months prior before his arrival. Makoto bit his lip; there was a heavy shift of emotion within the room as it was like stepping into a whole different world. A world of grief and anguishing anger, if one were to say. Makoto eventually found the picture frame that was faced down at the nightstand, helping himself sit at the edge of the bed and settle his crutches before carefully grasping the frame into full view. There was an Akihito upon the edge of the waves, at a beach composed of white sand. The young man had his hands close to his face, as if to calculate a photo’s dimensions. With the pink and orange sky above, the sunset’s glow caressing Akihito’s curves and edges, his hazel eyes gleaming in determination and focus — the photo seemed to appear as if Akihito was a dream brought to life. Makoto’s eyelids lowered, his slender fingers rubbing against the cracked glass of the frame. _He’s looks..so alive, even in a photo. … I wish I could ask Asami-san what Aki was like before he died..but I know better than that.. He..He must’ve really loved Aki..til then._

 

“I happened to take that photo when I took him to a resort one time.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, whipping his head up to see Asami standing by him — his golden eyes seemed glazed with familiar remorse. “His camera happened to be with me..so I took the photo while I could.” Asami continued, his brows wavering with overwhelmed emotion. “It was a great passion of his: photography.”

 

Makoto gulped. “I-I didn’t mean to barge in here w-without per--” He held in his breath, sparing his meaningless speech as he held out the picture frame towards Asami. The tall man had taken the frame, continuing to stare down at the photo within silence. He didn’t bother to add another information about the photo as he got lost in memory. Makoto watched Asami, spreading his arms towards him. “Asami-san..”

 

Asami had rubbed his face, glancing at Makoto. At first, he was hesitant of the man's gesture. “What are you doing?” He cleared his throat, having the photo face down at the nightstand as it was before.

 

Makoto kept his arms outstretched. “..You need it.” Asami stared down at Makoto before stifling a faint chuckle, sitting next to Makoto with an arm wrapped around him. Makoto too wrapped his arms around Asami’s waist, feeling warm drops of tears at his shoulder as Asami had gradually accepted Makoto’s comfort. Makoto nuzzled against Asami’s chest, closing his eyes. _Asami-san.. Aki misses you too..and thinks of you a lot. I may understand that kind of relationship..but.._

 

Makoto’s eyes had opened halfway, his heart eventually changing from aching to an unfamiliar pang of envy.

 

_..I..envy that._

 

~~

 

After that brief meeting, Asami had headed out again. He didn’t think that Makoto would that open yet for a hug, especially for comfort. The man gave a sigh, inhaling his cigarette. He was currently heading for a short business meeting and the traffic wasn’t treating time well. Asami closed his eyes, telling the chauffeur to wake him up at the destination last minute before falling into slumber.

 

Asami opened his eyes, seeing it was nightfall. He looked down to see a sleeping Akihito upon his rising chest. Asami patted Akihito’s head, burrowing his against his partner’s head. Akihito gave a soft groan, lifting his head up to meet Asami’s gaze. “Wh-What?” The younger man gave a pout, blushing. Asami shook his head before wrapped his toned arm around Akihito’s body. “..Were you dreaming?”

 

Akihito stifled a sheepish laugh. “D-Dreaming? Please, I don’t get any when you’re around..” He looked down at his left hand, seeing a silver band wrapped around his ring finger. Blushing further, he gave a quivering smile as he nuzzled at the crook of Asami’s neck. _Ah..Getting married to Asami huh.._ By then Akihito’s face was fully rouge. _God even if I turned his proposals down twice..I actually said yes the third time.._ Akihito gave a smile, helping himself to cup Asami’s face to stare deep into those piercing eyes he loved. “Ryuichi.” He leaned over to tenderly kiss the older man.

 

Asami had flipped Akihito, hovering above his lover. Desolation was wiped over his eyes, caressing Akihito’s face. His mouth was open to speak, but no words came. Akihito, looking concerned, stared back at Asami. “Ryuichi? What’s wrong?”

 

Asami slowly shook his head. “..It’ll be over soon anyway.”

 

“What?” Akihito sat up, while Asami had himself sitting at the edge of the bed. “What will? Hey.. You’re acting weird.” He had a hand at Asami's shoulder. Asami bit his lip, yanking from Akihito, standing himself up. Akihito’s eyes widened in response.

 

Asami had a hand covering half of his face, tears were spilling down. “It’s no use. You're not real.. You left me..” The older man clenched his free hand. “Over and over.. You’ll be here..as if you never have gone. Takaba, my heart can’t bear this weight..”

 

Akihito, speechless, watched Asami breaking down right before him. “Wh-What are you saying? I’m here..right?” He reached to grab Asami, guiding him back to the bed before sitting himself on top of him. “Ryuichi. Look at me.”

 

Asami lifted his head, watching as Akihito pull his member out along with his own to rub them both at the same time with rhythmic strokes. “This is a real. Just sit back..and enjoy the ride.” He then tossed his boxers before poking the head of Asami’s member against his arse, eventually sliding in with ease. Akihito gave a content moan. “A-Are you watching me..?” His hips started to move as his fingers teased and pulled at his soft pink nipples. Asami held still, his thoughts eventually melting away; Akihito was starting to be on focus, becoming the main subject within his viewfinder, just as Akihito would try to expose him when they first met. Grasping at Akihito’s ass, he started to thrust in Akihito. Akihito gasped, laying his hands to rest at Asami’s shoulders. He brought himself to stroke his own member as he gave Asami a sloppy kiss. _Asami.. It pains me too that we’re in two different worlds, permanently separating us.._

 

Akihito held onto Asami as Asami got off of the bed to give upward powerful thrusts inside the younger man. _I’ve watched over you numerous times..You’ve gotten worse by the day. I couldn’t think you’d slip just like that.._

 

Asami then bent Akihito over the bed’s edge, grabbing at Akihito’s hips with grunts of pleasure within each thrust. Akihito gritted his teeth, clutching at the bedsheets for dear life as he and Asami were close to climax.

 

_Don’t think you’re the only one suffering.. I’m always here, just waiting for you to be by my side._

 

_..Or maybe…_

 

_You could move on and live a better life other than grief._

 

Akihito twitched to feel Asami's hot cum fill his insides.

 

_Either way.._

 

Akihito felt arms wrap around him. He turned his head to caress Asami’s cheek, kissing him as he softly whispered, “I’ll still love you til the abyss swallows me up.”.

 

-

 

“..sama. Asami-sama.”

 

Groaning, Asami lifted his head to watch his chauffeur open the limo door.

 

“We’ve arrived at your destination.”

 

Asami spaced out for a moment, adjusting back to reality before stepping out and heading in the building in front of him, no words spoken.

 

~~

 

Makoto watched as the sky turned into evening. He had remained in Asami’s room, laying upon the older man’s bed to curl and surround himself with the bedsheets. _Even the bedsheets smell like cigarettes.. Doesn’t he ever get tired of doing that?_ Makoto closed his eyes momentarily before softly gasping to feel a hardening sensation around his crotch area. He peered over, eyes widening to see his clothed member was poking against his sweatpants. _Wh-What..?_ He cautiously had a hand slip down his boxers to flinch at the numbing sensation as his member hardened further; it started to hurt more and more as it was craving for touch. Makoto gave a darkened blush. _I don't understand.. This is dirty..and I’m..in Asami-san’s room out of all places.. Wh..What should I do..?_

 

Makoto’s hand gently grasped at his member, shuddering at his own touch. The young man had bit down at the bedsheets, feeling a hot liquid squirt out which coated his hand. Makoto had pulled his hand out to saw his hand was covered with a thickish, white-transparent substance. _Is..Is this cum?_ Fighting back memories, Makoto slowly licked his hand clean, moaning as his member had gotten hard again. _N-No.. I just cummed..right?_ Giving light breaths, Makoto gotten himself to stroke himself again; his body gradually becoming hot and sweat from his unknown arousal of his unconscious thought of Asami and the triggering smell of cigarettes. He had rolled his shirt up to lightly flick at his nipples, tears had rolled down his cheeks. He wasn’t in despair but for some reason there’d be stray tears that’ll seep out of his tears ducts. “A..Asami..san..” Makoto softly whispered. _No.. This..isn’t right. Why am I thinking like this.. This is..disgusting._ Makoto bit his lip, his body also letting out uncontrollable shuddering as it was Makoto’s first time feeling pleasure in a good way, without force or drugs; even if he wasn’t as fond of the idea, his body had craved for more attention than it ever has.

 

“Koijima?”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, dragging the bedsheets over his body as he looked over his shoulder to see Asami standing at the doorway. “A-Asami..sa--” Makoto wanted to shrink, watching Asami taking a few steps forward.

 

“Koijima..are you..masturbating?” Asami gave a steady gaze, not fazed to have smelled the familiar scent of sweat on the bedsheets and fresh cum.

 

Makoto hid himself underneath the sheets. “I-I’m sorry.. I-It just happened.. I..don’t know what’s..happening.”

 

Asami quietly walked over the bed, watching the bedsheets coil further. He gave a light frown. “Come on, show yourself. I’m not angry if that's what you’re thinking ; and there’s no need to be ashamed. Everyone does this.” He heard a sniffle before watching Makoto’s head poke out, still covering his body however. Hurt was written in Makoto’s eyes, having Asami to sit at the edge of the bed. “Sit up.”

 

Makoto shook his head.

 

“If you want it to stop, then I’ll help you. So please, sit up.” Asami gently pressed. Makoto was still hesitant before slowly sitting up and revealing his body. His hand was still in his sweatpants, his legs being crossed. Asami had a hand caress Makoto’s cheek. “Will it be alright to touch you there?”

 

Makoto gazed at Asami, giving a shaky nod, retracting his cum-stained hand before lowering his boxers and sweatpants til his knees. His member was all erect again, getting more stiff as Makoto still had thoughts about Asami. Asami had shifted his position, having a finger tease at the tip of Makoto’s member before giving gentle strokes.

 

“A-Ahhn.. A-Asa--” Makoto gasped as he cummed for the second time. Asami too was surprised at how quick Makoto would ejaculate but kept his composure, seeing that Makoto had gotten hard once again. His gaze shifted at Makoto’s reddened face. He knew what would solve the situation but wasn't fond of he idea as it resulted for Makoto to mistrust him for a short while.

 

“Koijima, this isn’t enough for you, isn’t it?” Asami had himself hovering over Makoto, gently laying the young man upon the mattress.

 

Makoto bit his lip, covering his mouth. “B-But.. This..isn’t right..” He whimpered. Asami’s eyelids lowered, lowering his head to softly kiss at Makoto’s forehead.

 

“This'll happen once, I promise.” Asami can still feel the stiffness of Makoto’s body as he took off Makoto’s clothing and outer shell of the leg cast. The older man had adjusted his necktie, unbuttoning shirt after tossing his blazer aside. “Koijima. Take your hands off.” After Makoto had moved his hands, his eyes widened to see that Asami had given him a gentle kiss. The taste of cigarettes were noticeable as it’d be as Asami’s lips were soft to the touch. Asami had trailed the kisses from Makoto’s chin, to his neck and chest til his abdominal area. Makoto gave soft moans, reaching his hands out to grasp at Asami’s hair as Asami had sucked at his member with such caution and gentleness to make sure the younger man wouldn't be in panic.

 

“A-Asami-san..” Makoto bit his lip. Asami lifted his head, unzipping his slacks to reveal his own hardened member.

 

“..I’ll go in. However if you wish to stop, just tell me.”

 

Makoto gave a small nod, gripping his hands at Asami’s shoulders. Asami squirted lube at his hand to lather it at his member before sliding inside Makoto. Makoto’ back had arched as Asami started to give gentle thrusts inside Makoto. “Koijima.. How are you feeling?”

 

Failing to respond, Makoto gave out moans, lifting his head to kiss Asami. His arms had wrapped around Asami’s neck as well as his legs securing themselves around Asami’s waist. “A-Asami-san.. Please..move more..” Asami gave a nod, increasing his speed to hear Makoto’s moans getting more louder. _..Is he enjoying this?_ Both dried and fresh tears were noticeable at Makoto’s face, there too were cries of hurt yet pleasure mixed in his voice. Asami wrapped his arms around Makoto, his thrusting gradually increasing as he realized his body was getting aroused by Makoto’s actions. “Koijima..” Asami grunted, having himself to sit at the bed and for Makoto to bounce rhythmically at his member. “I..I’m going to cum soon.” His pants were light.

 

Makoto mewled, roughly scratching at Asami’s toned back which left blue and purplish welts behind. “M-Me too!” His mouth was gaped open, only to be enclosed by Asami’s kiss. Compared to the assault, Makoto had felt that once warm feeling again and felt needed and protected. Makoto had hugged Asami for dear life as Asami gave a low growl, spilling his seed inside Makoto. The two had heavily panted in heat and exhaustion, leading to a rare soothing slumber that they both have needed.


	12. Chapter 12

Makoto fluttered his eyes open, seeing he was upon Asami’s chest. _Eh..? What..No..Why is Asami-san in my room..?_ He wiggled out of Asami’s embrace, only to realize he was in Asami’s room rather than his own. Clothes were scattered along the floor which had Makoto use the blanket to cover his tainted body. _No.. We..We did.._ Makoto looked at Asami, who was fast asleep and for once seemed he was in a tranquil state. Makoto blushed, shaking his head as last night’s events had gradually came to him. _Sex.. We had sex. … But with Asami-san being gentle..it felt good._ He bit his finger, feeling a pang of guilt. _But.. Asami-san loves Aki..and he only did it with me because I can’t stop being aroused by the scent here. It was wrong.. I..don't know what to do.. I really..crossed the line now. ..Is Aki mad?_

 

Holding his legs close to his chest, Makoto gave a sigh, burrowing his face within his knees. _What’s this I’m feeling? My chest..hurts so much. Why’s that..?_ He sniffled; tears rolled down his cheeks as he stressed about this alien feeling deep within him. Perhaps it is love after all, as you may think. However, would Makoto be able to swing Asami around to a bright, healthier, and happier life? To Makoto, he wouldn't know as he isn’t aware of the feeling he is currently feeling. He couldn't bother asking Asami about it as it involved feelings for him, and Makoto hasn’t contacted Hikaru for a long while but knew he’d rather stay quiet until he comes back to him.

 

Stuck.

 

That’s where Makoto is at this moment. As Makoto was contemplating his thoughts, Asami had been awakened by his sniffles. The older man sat up. “Koijima.”

 

Makoto’s sniffles stopped; his head was aching due to the bottled up crying. Asami watched Makoto. “Koijima. Look at me.”

 

“No..” Makot bit his lip. “I..I shouldn't have..” Asami leaned over to hold Makoto in his embrace. He rubbed the younger man's back as he felt quivering throughout his body. “How do you feel? Like I said, this’ll happen once.” Makoto nodded, lifting his head up to meet Asami. “Just..feeling sore.” By Makoto’s response, Asami got off the bed to fetch some medication before coming back.

 

“Here.” Asami’s hand had two pills and his free hand had a small glass of water. He watched as Makoto took the pill before handing the glass back to him. “Thank you..” His voice was soft as it’d always been. Asami stared back, wondering if having intercourse with Makoto was the right thing. He did give consent, however Makoto is still upset about the thought and the fact it happened. Asami threaded his fingers through his hair. “..You can take your shower first.” He then remembered that Makoto would need help, giving a sigh. _Right.._

 

By then, Asami had led a nude Makoto into the walk-in shower. He instructed Makoto to lean against the wall in order to scrub his hair and body. The bruisings were eventually fading, however some had become permanent scars. Asami’s gaze narrowed. “Koijima.”

 

Makoto shyly looked over his shoulder. “Y-Yes..?”

 

Their gazes had met; piercing golden eyes intertwined with quivering dark eyes. Asami took a step to embrace Makoto from behind. “..You're still in pain, aren't you?”

 

“Eh..?” Makoto flinched to feel his member being stroked. “H-Hey.. You said we'd do this only once!” However soft moans erupted from Makoto’ lips, sending his body chills as Asami’s hands had caressed his slender curves. Asami gave a kiss at Makoto’s neck. “Remember..you’re safe with me.” Having his member already exposed, Asami had thrusted inside Makoto, planting more rosy hickeys upon the younger man’s skin. Makoto bit his lip, wrapping an arm around Asami’s neck. “A-Asami..san..please..”

 

“What makes you think I’m moving now?”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened to see his very own hips were swaying as the tip of Asami’s member kept ramming against Makoto’s prostate. “Wh-What’s this..? N-No..”

 

Asami kissed Makoto, lifting the younger man up to have him cling upon him. Makoto cupped Asami’s face, breathing panting and having a flustered face amongst the steam. “Y-You..”

 

Asami gave another hard thrust. “What about me?” Asami may appear to have nonchalant composure, however Makoto had a feeling there was a faint smile upon Asami’s lips. _I don’t get it.. He’s..He’s having me sex with me again.. Shit..It..feels so good.._ Makoto burrowed his face within Asami’s neck, gently biting at the toned muscles of it. Asami gave a grunt, nibbling and licking at Makoto's ear in response. Makoto’s weary eyes opened to see Akihito standing at the shower doorway, a clouded expression being written upon his face. _Aki..?_

 

“Koijima.”

 

Makoto’s eyes wide, his body twitching to feel hot cum filling him up. Akihito was no longer at the doorway. Makoto then kissed Asami, unknowingly desiring more from him each time whenever Asami gives physical contact with him.

 

Asami, on the contrary, had gone numb since he decided to give intercourse with Makoto, despite last night’s promise of simply doing the act once. He gazed at Makoto, who was catching his breath. His saliva dripped from his chin, his long bangs shielding his eyes, and cum had spilled down the shower drain. Asami’s gaze narrowed, having a hand at the back of Makoto’s head to hold him close. He wasn’t so sure what’ll happen at this starting rate of the muddled relationship between himself and Makoto Koijima. The perpetrator was most likely the one who called him the other day, having concerns for Makoto’s safety despite his apartment having guards at certain points. And the fact he himself had been feeling a familiar feeling he haven’t felt for two years: _devotion_.

 

Asami gave a sigh, frowning in stress as he had nuzzled close to Makoto’s neck.

 

_..He..can’t be like him._

 

_No.._

 

_I can’t fall for this again.._

 

_Not when I can lose another.._

 

~

 

Makoto sneezed as Asami was drying his hair after giving him a new set of clothes: a black turtleneck with dark brown jeans and combat boots. He looked up at Asami. “You said..we’re going somewhere?” He had repeated what Asami had told him after taking his shower.

 

Asami nodded. “It’s safer that way. Do understand.”

 

Makoto gave a nod, leaning forward to lean against Asami’s stomach, who was also dressed up in his usual suit attire. _This warmth.. I can kinda feel it again.. What..is this..?_

 

Asami stroked Makoto’s hair. Closing his eyes, he had imagined a content Makoto far ahead of him; a bright light shone behind him. A blush was spread across Makoto’s cheeks as he had a hand outstretched towards the older man. Asami’s gaze softened, making a step forward to reach for Makoto — only for Makoto to drop lifeless at the floor. Asami’s body had stiffened in shock, along with seeing an Akihito appear by Makoto’s body. There seemed to be a red string wrapped around his neck, connecting to Makoto’s neck where there too was a red string wrapped around his neck.

 

 _What..is happening?_ , Asami had thought.

 

Akihito took Makoto within his arms, holding his cousin close. An ominous glare clouded Akihiko’s soulless eyes, blood had seeped out at the locations he was shot at.

 

Asami felt the need to scream in terror but he couldn't move nor speak as he watched his former partner take out a pair of scissors to snip at the red string between him and Makoto, having Asami awaken from his delusional trance. Asami looked around, seeing he was in his room, along with Makoto still leaning against him. The older man’s body gave a faint shudder at the vision. He bit his lip. _No.. He.. He’s not like you, Takaba_.

 

Makoto lifted his head to look up at Asami. He tugged at Asami’s necktie. “Asami-san..” He softly spoke. He then helped himself to stand on the bed to wrap his arms around Asami’s neck. “Asami-san..” He leaned over, kissing Asami.

 

Asami had a detached expression, having Makoto to quiver and sit back down on the bed in silence. Asami simply cleared his throat. “Let’s go.” And with that, the two had headed for the entrance of the suites.

 

-

 

The limo ride had an acute atmosphere. Due to Asami’s sudden cold expression, Makoto had sat far away from the older man. He wasn’t so sure what had Asami to act this way, however Makoto didn't bother as he didn’t wish to pry any further.

 

Makoto looked out at the window, seeing the numerous people walk by at the sidewalk. Some school students were teasing one another as there was a father was fretting to calm a fretting baby in his arms. Makoto eventually saw a couple walking hand in hand, smiling at one another. His heart throbbed. _Are they..a couple?_ He looked at Asami, seeing he was smoking as usual, looking out at the window beside him; his leg was crossed over the other as his arms were folded across his chest. His expression was blank with dour eyes.

 

Makoto’s eyelids lowered, looking down at his lap. He felt neglected. But what can he do? Who know what will Ryuichi Asami do to him if he were to speak or make contact. Makoto clutched his face, closing his eyes shut. _Asami-san.. Why won't you look at me..? I wish you can tell me.. Why..are you like this? I..I don’t.._

 

Asami’s gaze altered towards Makoto. He himself knew he was being unfair; he was simply disciplining himself for forgetting Akihito. However his own heart ached at the sight at Makoto being stressed. _..Koijima_. Asami exhaled transparent smoke, extending a hand towards Makoto. _Maybe..Just maybe he.._

 

“Koijima?”

 

Makoto sniffled, slowly lifting his head to see Asami giving a hand out towards him. Asami’s brows were furrowed in worry. Makoto had brought himself to scoot next to Asami, shyly looking up the older man.

 

Asami had grasped Makoto’s chin, having his cigarette within hand before kissing Makoto. Makoto can taste the burning taste of nicotine, his hands upon Asami’s thigh. His body was starting heat up, his member poking against his jeans. “A-Asami-san..”

 

Asami watched Makoto get on his lap, lightly panting. He started to rub his ass against Asami’s clothed member. Asami had given wonder whether Makoto was willing to have sex with him just like that or he’s desperate to be touched, as if it was an absolute need to live. There were no feelings between himself and Makoto, however he found himself have distaste at Makoto’s behavior. Sure that Makoto didn’t fight back at the shower, or whether he was weak and being injured — just simply looking at the same person in front of him, rubbing himself against him, had given him utter detestation. The older man’s gaze narrowed. “Stop it.”

 

Makoto flinched, stopping his movements in an instant. “Wh-What..? Am I..Am I being bad again?”

 

It was what Asami thought: the trauma was still there within Makoto’s consciousness. He must've seen Asami as a dominant figure to serve. Asami gave a sigh, frowning. “Don't lie to me. Are you that desperate to be fucked or are you seeing me as one of _them_?” Bitterness was applied at Asami’s tone, obviously mentioning about Makoto’s family.

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. “N-No.. I..I.. N-No..” Asami had then pinned Makoto on the seat, his cigarette in his mouth while his hands were wrapped around Makoto's throat. “I thought I told you that you’re safe with me. Those people won’t come back to get you; or I’ll kill them myself.” His grip tightened slightly at Makoto’s neck. “..There’s so much I don’t know about you; and yet there’s one thing I know: you’re quite the whore, Makoto Koijima.” Asami had cupped his hand at Makoto’s crouch, feeling at his hardened erection. “Guess I was right.”

 

Makoto choked, giving attempts to cough. “Th-That’s not--!!” Makoto gritted his teeth as Asami squeezed at his clothed member, moaning loudly. Asami rested his forehead upon Makoto’s, staring at the young man up close. “Only remember me, no one else.” Asami then kissed Makoto again to slide up inside Makoto’s shirt, playing with his nipples.

 

“A-Asami-san!” Makoto gasped.

 

Asami’s eyelids lowered. “Don’t you ever forget.” He had to let go eventually, taking his hands off of Makoto to recline back his seat. Makoto shuddered, wrapping his arms around him as he leaned against Asami. He closed his eyes.

 

_What will happen to me then..?_

 

_Why does my body crave for Asami? Is it true? Thinking of those people? No, monsters..?_

 

_No.._

 

_I.._

 

_I..can’t ever say how to feel towards Asami-san.._

 

-

 

Asami and Makoto had arrived at a resort of sorts, heading inside the building towards the elevator. Makoto’s arms remained wrapped around the young man’s body. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Asami in the eye due to that stunt he did to him, bringing familiar memories. Makoto bit his lip, staring down at his feet.

 

“..Asami-san.”

 

Makoto heard a faint _hm_ as he continued to shudder. He then shook his head. “Ah..n-never mind. Sorry..”

 

Asami turned his head to look at Makoto. Frowning, he brought the young man up against the elevator walls to pin his hands over his head. He brought his lips to kiss Makoto’s neck and collarbone before lifting Makoto’s chin to have Makoto look up at him. Asami stared back at Makoto. “Remember what I said, Koijima. No one will hurt you, not while I’m here and close by.”

 

Makoto shook Asami’s hand off-grasp. Tears welled up within his eyes. Saying no words, he sniffle and quietly cried in front of the taller man.

 

Asami watched Makoto.   _Tch. He’s just making the situation more complicated. When will he make up his own damn mind._ He took a step back. “Koijima, look at me.”

 

Makoto sniffled before eventually gazing at Asami. Asami had stood where he was, keeping distance. Just as Asami was about to speak, the elevator door had opened to reveal a middle-aged worker who bowed in greeting. “Welcome, Asami-san, Makoto Koijima. If you would, please come this way.” The worker had beckoned at the two, leading them down the bare corridor. And within a short while, the worker handed Asami a key once the three had stood in front of a door. “Do enjoy your stay.”

 

Makoto stared at the worker, believing he’d seen him before but not so sure where. He gave a light flinch to see the worker’s dark orbs peered at his own; how they matched his and reminded him of his whole family as they too have dark eyes he’d inherit.

 

“Koijima.”

 

Makoto snapped out of his gaze, following Asami into the room, still feeling the worker’s gaze burning at his back. _I..I don’t want to be here. I have a bad feeling.._

 

Asami had briskly walked around the room in case of any suspicious activity or whether anything was out of place. After doing so, he walked up to Makoto. “Everything seems clear. You'll be safe here.”

 

Makoto shook his head. “N-No..”

 

Asami watched Makoto. “What’s the matter?” He started to fish out a cigarette to his mouth, lighting it within an instant.

 

Makoto simply shook his head again. “It..doesn’t feel right here..”

 

Asami gave a sigh, gently having a hand upon Makoto’s head. “You’re safe here. You’ll be here until further notice. If you need something, I'll respond.” He had made his way towards the door, only to feel his hand being grasped. Asami looked over his shoulder to see a frightened Makoto. “D-Don’t leave!!”

 

Asami’s gaze softened, facing Makoto to hold him close. Makoto’s body was shuddering once again throughout and onto his own body. “I’ll be back soon. Just be a good boy and stay here.”

 

By then Asami had left, leaving Makoto all alone with his slowly rising level of anxiety and within the vacant room.

 

~

 

It hasn’t been far long for Makoto to remain standing where he was. He couldn’t move, becoming oversuspicious in belief someone was watching him. Ever since he met that particular worker’s gaze, his body had tensed on its own. He bit his lip, hugging himself excessively. _Please come back soon, Asami-san.. I..I’m sure there’s someone.._

 

Makoto gasped, whipping his head at the nearby kitchen as he heard a light _swoosh_. He took a step back, gulping to feel a body against his back. Cautiously looking over his shoulder, his eyes widened like blank saucers.

 

“Y-You..”

 

\--

 

Asami was at his office, assorting papers until he received a phone call, answering it. “Asami.”

 

[ _‘ S-Sir, Makoto Koijima isn’t anywhere in sight. ’_ ]

 

Asami’s eyes widened. “What..do you mean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't know it's been nearly a week since the last update.. ^^' Anyhow hope this chapter makes up for it; I'll admit it was a bit rushed but I believe it went alright in the end.
> 
> Just an fyi, there'll be possible lagging such as this ( if it were to happen again ) since I'm falling behind on college work so hope that's understandable. Til then, take care!!
> 
> \- M


	13. Chapter 13

Asami had gone inside the limo, dialing Fei long. _How could this have happened? The place seemed fine with no traces of people, microphones, or cameras. … Only thing is how did Koijima know about the notion of someone possibly in there._ Asami bit his lip, gazing out the window. _Koijima.._

[ _‘ Seems about time you called me. ’_ ] Fei Long had answered the call.

“..Koijima got taken away.” Asami’s mind had flooded with possible possibilities of Makoto’s capture but none had matched how Makoto disappeared. “There’s no way anyone would’ve walked in or break in with security around.”

[ _‘ Is that so? That’s strange indeed.. Was there anything left behind the scene? ’_ ]

Asami’s gaze narrowed, recalling what his guard had told him not too long ago. “Yeah.”

•

_Asami’s eyes widened. “What..do you mean?”_

_[ ‘ The place is empty.. But..there was a note left behind. ’ ]_

_“A note?”_

_[ ‘ Yes, sir. It says about meeting you at the abandoned warehouse close by at the harbor. ’ ]_

_A flashback had played within Asami’s mind, where he had shot down Akihito’s superior, by the name of Yama, just before his attempt to kill the young man. H remembered seeing the hurt face of Akihito when superior had betrayed and had his back turned on him. Asami’s grip on his phone had tightened, his eyes gleaming with a fiery fury. ( Koijima.. )_

•

[ _‘ ..sami. Asami. ’_ ]

Asami had himself back in reality, shaking his head in frustration and worry. “Sorry. Anyway, meet me at Carlé — that is if you’re willing to cooperate.”

The other line was quiet before Fei Long gave his response. [ _‘ I’ll see you there. ’_ ] And with that, he hung up.

Asami put away his cell phone, staring down at his lap within dismay. All that was in his head was Makoto and no one else. The infamous crime lord couldn't help but to blame himself for ignoring Makoto’s desperate pleas, resulting in having the poor man taken right under his nose. By then it had reminded Asami about Akihito’s death, blaming himself that he couldn't listen to Akihito’s petitions to leave the area until Akihito had slipped away the very last moment.

Asami pinched at the bridge of his nose, his brows furrowing further. _Please..Takaba, make sure Koijima stays safe..wherever you are.._

As Asami quietly bottled his frustration, Akihito was sitting alongside the older man, watching his partner with fretted eyes. He then gave a smile, seeing the fact that Asami had been thinking more and more about Makoto, drifting away from brooding over his death and blaming himself. The fading soul laid a hand at Asami’s shoulder, holding back tears as it went through Asami. Akihito had retracted his hand, gazing at Asami. _You’ll get to him soon.. I’m sure of that._

As Asami was turning his head, Akihito had already gone.

\--

Asami had exited the limo, eventually seeing Fei Long walking towards him. The long haired man gave a nod in greeting. “So about that note — Koijima-kun may be in that warehouse it’d mention?” Asami gave a nod while Fei Long had crossed his arms. “I’m familiar with it.” Asami’s response was short, opening the limo door for Fei Long to get inside.

As the ride went on quietly, Fei Long took a glance at Asami. The older man had frustration written on his face, his hand clenched into a white fist. Fei Long gave a coy smile. “Quite worried for the boy, hm? That’s unlike you, Asami.”

“Shut your trap; this isn’t the time for jokes. Koijima is gone once again because of me..” Asami’s tone was curt, or rather sharp as he couldn't help his mind to cloud over with thoughts. Fei Long rolled his eyes at Asami’s retort. “Just like Akihito-kun’s death? You wouldn't have saved him in ti--” The Chinese man’s dark eyes narrowed at the notion of feeling the cold barrel of a gun just centimeters from his head. Bottled fury gleamed within Asami's golden orbs; his finger was at the trigger as his heart would burst at any given moment. “Asami. Just sort your thoughts out. It won’t be long until you see him again.” His eyelids lowered, watching Asami retract the gun away. “..You’ve changed since that boy entered your life.”

Asami didn’t say another word, gazing out the window.

_.._

_Makoto Koijima — an unknown relative of Takaba’s._

_He’s far different from Takaba. He was all fucked up due to his family. He couldn't function without the help of another — he’d be nothing with no one by his side._

_But.._

Memories of Makoto surged within Asami; ranging from how they’d meet to the little bits that showed their adaption conflictions upon one another. Makoto’s eyes would be clouded with distrust and uncertainty whenever he’d look at him. But as time passed by, Makoto’s eyes would gleam with admiration for the older man; his body would be relaxed rather than tensed up. Because if Asami didn’t bother to make the heart to have Makoto a part of his life...

_Now I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s basically..hopeless._

_.._

_Hang in there, Koijima. I’ll be right there._

~

Arriving at the warehouse, Asami’s face remained composed as he gave an effort not to remember the memory that lingered. He had a hand up in the air to halt his men to help himself to go inside the abandoned building alone.

The inside was spacious as well as damp and moist. Despite the place being abandoned, there were enlarged crates stacked upon one another, surrounding the inside graciously. Asami’s eyes narrowed at the silence. It was far too quiet as he’d thought, as if some beast were to leap at him at any given moment. His head turned, hearing a faint rustle of movement. The older man stayed quiet as he pulled his gun out from his blazer, listening carefully to the sound, making hushed steps towards the source.

Weaving in and out of the crates, Asami walked through a small passage — to see Makoto pinned down on the floor, being forcefully fucked by a familiar figure in a suit. Asami’s grip on his gun tightened, pointing it at the man who had betrayed him: the one responsible for leaking information of his business, Saburo Amari.

Saburo then had himself sitting, facing Makoto towards Asami. With one hand upon Makoto’s thigh to give more space for his forceful thrusts, and the other hand firmly being wrapped around Makoto’s throat. There were drops of blood decorated upon the concrete as there were small slits at Makoto’s thighs; a small pocketknife was in arm's reach for the perpetrator. A ball of cloth was shoved in Makoto’s mouth, minimizing his screams. The younger man had fresh and dried tears upon his face. He was in pain, and was desperate to reach out to Asami if it were not for the rope being tied around him.

Asami’s feet was planted to the ground, apparently more enraged and mortified to see Makoto yet again being harassed. He gritted his teeth, a finger was upon the trigger. “Let. Him. Go.” He lowly growled.

Saburo gave a smirk. “Is this lil’ toy yours, Ryuichi Asami? He did gave quite the pathetic struggle so I had the leisure to cut at his legs as light punishment.” His eyes had narrowed. “And now, you’ll have to die.”

A dash flickered in front of Asami, having him to dodge, his back being pressed against a crate. An average height man stood before Asami, wearing a dark hoodie with dark jeans and shoes. Two switchblades were within each of the man’s hands, blue-grey eyes had glared at golden before dashing up at Asami. Asami had shot the man at the abdominal area, however it seemed to have grazed the man as the man leaped to the side, clenching his teeth.

Asami’s gaze darted back at Saburo. “I have no time with mere distractions. Return Koijima at this instant,” Fei Long had then appeared in sight along with his and Asami’s men. “or you’ll be shot into a pulp until I get some goddamn answers.”

Saburo’s eyes widened, laughing before cumming inside Makoto for the umpth time. Makoto’s body shuddered before falling limp into unconsciousness. Saburo had pulled out of Makoto in time to be face-kicked by Fei Long.

“Tch. Damn you!” Saburo growled, having a punch thrown at the Chinese man before he realized he was pinned at the ground. Fei Long’s eyes narrowed in disgust. “Why don’t you shut that mouth of yours and be a good boy?”

The hooded man had decided to make a run for it, tempting Asami to follow. As the two reach to the back of the building, Asami had pulled back the hood to see the familiar face of Hikaru Xiu.

Asami’s eyes narrowed. “You..”

Hikaru’s right cheek was all bruised with swatches of purples and blues along with a few other markings of a punch. His blue-grey eyes glared at Asami, throwing a switchblade at Asami’s shoulder while his guard was down. Asami grunted in pain, immediately pulling the weapon out of him. When he glanced at Hikaru, the hooded man had already gone from sight. _Why..was he here? Didn’t he care for Koijima? No.. He must’ve been in this plan. What the hell is going on?_

“Asami.”

Asami, one hand clutched at his shoulder, turned his body to see Fei Long beside him. The Chinese man gave a sigh. “Your meddling rat had already spilled everything — the Koijimas were in hopes of getting information of you to gain money and to thinking exposing you will really do any gain.” He shook his head. “That man is a relative of Makoto-kun, and so he made the liberty to pose as one of your men to get any secrets of you. So what will you do?”

Asami was silent. He couldn't get Hikaru off his head; the thought of seeing him in this scenario had upset him further. At this rate, Asami had planned to keep Makoto close to him and not have him go anywhere in his sight. He nearly lost him for the second time, having his heart to quiver in distress. The older man eventually started to walk back towards the spot where Makoto was left behind. “I’ll kill that bastard.”

\--

Makoto was sent to the hospital just as last time. Fortunately, other than the given slits at his thighs, Makoto have had minimal wounds compared to his family's assault. His leg was still healing; also therefore he had been told the crutches wouldn't be needed anymore and that he can walk on his own with the cast still applied.

The younger man sat over the edge of the hospital bed. He had been told to lie down, however he couldn't forget who he saw before being taken.

•

_Makoto gasped, whipping his head at the nearby kitchen as he heard a light swoosh . He took a step back, gulping to feel a body against his back. Cautiously looking over his shoulder, his eyes widened like blank saucers._

_“Y-You..”_

_A hooded figure was behind Makoto, tilting his head to show the familiar face of Hikaru Xiu. Makoto had thought he saw sorrow or fear within Hikaru until Makoto had been knocked out with the scent of chloroform._

•

Makoto’s eyelids lowered. _That was..Hikaru, wasn't it?_ His hands gripped on the sheets. _..Why were you there..?_

Makoto didn't take notice of the door being opened and closed until he felt a hand up on his head. He lifted his face, seeing Asami stare down at him. “You doing alright?” His rich, baritone voice had Makoto relax with ease, giving a nod in response. Asami had retracted his hand as he gave a sigh of relief. “You can be able to head back to the suite to rest.”

Makoto gave a nod. Even if he had been with Asami for several weeks, his fondness for the man who captivated his mind and heart had grown ever since — regardless of knowing this fact or not. He knew the crime lord may be intimidating and cold, but he knew he can be kind in a way. Makoto had stood up, gently gripping onto Asami’s suit. He noticed the the bloody hole at his shoulder, biting his lip. “Does that hurt?”

Asami’s eyelids lowered, shaking his head. His hand had caressed Makoto's cheek. “Honestly the only thing that’d hurt me,” His broad shoulders heaved as he gave a heavy sigh. “Is the thought of losing you.”

Makoto’s eyes widened, a shade of rouge was plastered upon his cheeks. His heart had started to race, being heartfelt by Asami's words. “A-Asami-san..”

Asami had held Makoto close. “You can never be safe without me around, can you? My heart wouldn't be able to take this pain..and it makes me covet for you even more.” Asami closed his eyes. “Makoto..I’ve had my heart tossed around numerous times, so please don’t do this any more further. I can’t afford to lose another..”

Makoto nuzzled close to Asami. “Asami-san, I..I..”

As Asami had his face in front of Makoto’s, the young man had his lips pressed upon his own; while his arms were wrapped around the older man's neck. Asami had deepened the kiss, tilting Makoto’s head back and threading his fingers through his silky strands. He had a hand cuffed at Makoto’s crouch regions of his hospital gown, gently rubbing at the spot. Makoto gave a light moan. “S-Someone might come in..” He gave another moan as Asami had pinned him on the hospital bed.

“Not if we make this quick — and this is what you’ll get for worrying me nonstop.” Asami had pushed the hospital gown all the way to Makoto’s bandaged chest, spreading his legs to see his thighs bandaged as well. Asami had lowered his head to softly kiss upon the bandages. “Makoto.”

Makoto had blushed further at the notion of Asami saying his name. His and Asami’s gaze have met; Asami had himself hovering over the short man. He cupped Makoto’s face, giving him another kiss. Makoto can feel the bottled up worry that Asami had being converted to the familiar warmth of endearment. He raised a hand to lay it upon Asami’s chest. The hurried heartbeat of Ryuichi Asami pulsated against his chest and onto Makoto’s laid hand. _What..is this? Asami-san’s heart is going so fast.. Asami-san.. Is..Is this..?_ Makoto raised his other hand to caress Asami’s cheek. “I..I think I’m in love with you, Asami-san.”

At an instant, Makoto felt hesitant, blushing more. “A-Ah.. O-Or I dunno.. I-I just can’t stop thinking about you a-and that you did so much f-for me a-a-and..” Makoto’s words had become disarranged, failing to pass the message, or perhaps his confession, to Asami. He simply wanted to stop immediately to avoid making an embarrassment of himself.

Asami stared down at Makoto, giving a small smile. “Is that a confession I’m hearing, Makoto Koijima?”

Makoto had his hands cover his face. “N-N-Nevermind! P-Please..ah..crap…”

Asami gave a low chuckle, kissing the crane of Makoto’s neck and helping himself intertwine his fingers with Makoto’s. “You’re far too precious to be tossed away like that.” He had his own member out of his slacks, rubbing the head against Makoto’s entrance. “You’ll be safe with me, remember that.” He slid himself inside Makoto, smirking at Makoto’s loud cry. “Careful — wouldn't want to increase the risk of someone coming in here, don't you?”

Makoto’s eyes closed shut as his hands covered his mouth. “A-Asami-san.. I-In a place like this..a-ah!!” The younger man had clenched his teeth, getting more aroused by Asami’s touch, kisses, voice, and thrusting. His heart had fallen for the crime lord repeatedly as the two men would end up finding one another in any possible way. Makoto then sat up to bounce himself with Asami’s member, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck. He had decided to give Asami kisses just as he did to him but ended up giving more moans of contentment and a hardened dick due to Asami nibbling at his earlobe, rubbing his hands against the younger man’s inner thighs, and stroking at the younger man’s member. _Ah yes, in a place like this. But you’re quite the pervert to get this going on. I like this side of you, as well as everything else._ Asami continued to smile at Makoto blushing and pleasuring himself.

Makoto kept at swaying his hips, moaning more when Asami leaned over to kiss him. Makoto had threaded his fingers through Asami’s dark strands, eventually cumming before Asami released his own seed inside Makoto.

\---

After spending time in the hospital, Asami and Makoto had headed back to Carlé Suites. Asami had decided to stay in, and to also give himself more time with Makoto, having an intercourse session once again after arriving. Makoto couldn't get enough of him; he gone far into attachment to where he had the need to stay with Ryuichi Asami.

Asami had watched Makoto lightly snore on the bed; they had remained in Asami’s bedroom that night and Makoto didn’t even bother to go back to his own room. Asami had moved a hair strand from Makoto’ face, caressing his cheek. And for once, his heart had been put to ease.

Kissing the top Makoto’s head, Asami wrapped his arms around the younger man to fall asleep as well.

~

Meanwhile, back at Aya’s Beauty Salon — Hikaru breathed heavily at the salon floor, clutching at his bandaged side. “Damn it!” He slammed a fist upon the polished floor. Tears brimmed up, blurring Hikaru’s vision as he cried. “Fuck.. Makoto.. I..” He then grasped at his hair; hating himself for not helping Makoto.

However, he wasn’t in for the Koijima mishaps, as all he cared for — was vengeance against Ryuichi Asami.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! Here it is: Chapter 13 of ' Pulling the Trigger '; thank you so much for the kudos and reads of this work as always!  
> ヾ(☆▽☆) 
> 
> Tbh this chapter wasn't making any sense ( and still probably doesn't..and so I apologize for that ಥ_ಥ ); it was a challenging and difficult chapter since I wasn't too sure of how it will go but I think I pulled something off idk ^^'. Anyway, I guess our Asami is also admitting feelings for Makoto after that confession, eh? (ღ˘ω˘ღ) 
> 
> At this point, I can actually say this story is probably about halfway-ish towards its end so yeah~ And, uh, yeah — please do look forward to the next chapter ( and also I apologize for me to take almost 2 WEEKS to post this chapter ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ )!!
> 
> \- M


	14. Chapter 14

Makoto stood at the balcony, his hands on the cold railing as he gazed over at the city. It’s been two days since his kidnapping and the killing of his relative, Saburo Amari. His lips tightened, remembering Asami’s face when he was being taken out of the warehouse.

•

_Fei Long had his blazer around the quivering young man, leading him out towards the exit along with some bodyguards. And just as Makoto watched Fei Long give an order to one of the men, the blond flinched to hear a gunshot._

_Looking over his shoulder, Makoto’s dark eyes widened in shock to see Asami furiously shooting at Saburo — his face crinkling in rage, blood had splattered at his clothes and face. Eventually the guards had to pull Asami away as the older man had almost gave his attempts to kneel down and to take some punches at the bloody corpse._

•

Makoto’s eyelids lowered. _He..He really..killed him.._ His hands gently gripped at the rail. He had no idea where the rest of his family went ever since _that_ day. Not that he cared; however he had thought about them after seeing Saburo. Are they in jail? Prison? Or dead like Saburo? It was uncertain, and so Makoto had kept quiet and paid no mind to it.

A hand was gently placed upon Makoto’s head, having the young man turn his head to see Asami. Makoto gave a shy smile in greeting as his body turned to face Asami. His gaze wavered at the bandage that was wrapped around the older man’s shoulder and chest, having a hurt expression written upon his face.

“Oi.”

Makoto found his chin was being lifted, seeing Asami’s face. Makot then blushed, shaking his reddened face. “I-I’m sorry.. You even got hurt..”

Asami stared down at Makoto. A faint smile curled his lips; a single arm had itself wrapped around Makoto’s frail body before embracing him close with his other arm. “Just as long as you're safe — that’s alright with me.” Asami gently kissed the top of Makoto’s head. “I’m here for you.” His voice had lowered, having Makoto’s heart to flutter.

Makoto nuzzled close to Asami’s chest. “A-Asami-san..” He looked up at Asami. “..I..I don’t know if I should go back to Hikaru’s..” The younger man’s gaze started to waver. “I..could’ve sworn that was him back there..”

Asami watched Makoto, threading his fingers through ash blond strands. “..Don’t concern yourself about that now. You’ll be staying with me, understood?” Makoto gave a sniffle, nodding before tiptoeing to kiss Asami.

Asami’s eyelids lowered, deepening the kiss. He then swept Makoto off his feet to carry him bridal-style, his smile becoming more broad and noticeable. Makoto’s face had reddened, shielding Asami’s eyes. “St-Stop doing that.. You making me feel..weird..”

Asami gave a chuckle. “Weird? Then does it explain this too?” The older man had a hand upon Makoto’s sweatpants to feel a hardened member inside. “Well aren't you the perverted one?” Asami’s voice gave a low purr, his head leaning over to nibble at Makoto’s earlobe to hear the younger man more. “A-Asami-san!!”

Asami closed his eyes, licking at Makoto’s craning neck as well as leaving soft love bites. “Mnn.. Don’t cum just yet.” He had Makoto back on his feet, facing the young man to face and grip at the balcony railing. “Asa--” Makoto’s eyes widened, looking over his shoulder to see his sweatpants being brought down his knees and to see Asami stroking at his girthy member. “H-Hey.. People can see..” Makoto gave a shudder, feeling a thumb stroke at his entrance. “Asami~!!” Makoto bit his lip, covering his face in embarrassment of the loudness he was making.

“Don’t hide, Makoto.” Asami gave brushed Makoto’s hands off, caressing at his cheek. “You had me like this for quite a while now — this is your reward for my gratitude.” He turned Makoto’s body upside, pulling and tossing away the shirt and hoodie Makoto was wearing before having a broad hand gingerly rub at Makoto’s stomach; as this spot was one of Makoto Koijima’s sensitive spots of arousal. “Makoto, look at me.”

Just as Makoto met Asami’s gaze, his body had felt like electricity had stunned him; his head threw back as Asami had thrusted inside him with no warning. Makoto’s gaping mouth drooled saliva, his body had helped to bring itself up for the young man to wrap his slender arms around Asami’s neck. Mumbling soft cursings, Makoto kissed Asami, his tongue obviously losing to Asami's skill of dominance. “Ryu.. No..Asami...I..H-Hmmnn~..” Makoto continued to moan, unable to talk as he was filled with ecstasy and overwhelming pleasure thanks to Asami.

Asami gazed up at Makoto, contently watching the constant transfiguration of the younger man’s expressions. He couldn't help but to give peck upon Makoto’s quivering lips. “You’re so adorable whenever you show this side.” Smiling again, Asami started to give slow, but smooth poundings, also feeling Makoto had already cummed before him as he’d always would. “Say it. Say my name, Makoto. I want to hear your voice.”

Makoto covered his mouth with one hand, giving his cover up his sounds to immediately fail. He met Asami’s strong, piercing gaze, panting. “Hnnm.. R..Ryui..Ryuichi..” After obeying Asami’s request, Makoto cupped the older man’s face in time for Asami to cum his hot semen inside him.

~

Asami and Makoto had laid upon one of the duo lounge chairs that resided at the balcony, seeing a twinkling show of stars up above. Makoto snuggled against Asami’s chest, softly breathing as he had succumbed into sleep. Asami gave a low chuckle, ruffling Makoto’s hair as he continued to watch the young man go to sleep. _You’ve come a long way, Makoto Koijima, and I admire that._ He closed his eyes, his breathing eventually matching with Makoto’s. _I’ll cherish you always; if only you'd know that. And thank you, for coming in this sorry mess of a life._

\--

Asami had awaken before Makoto, helping himself carry Makoto to his [ Asami’s ] bedroom, tucking him in before sitting at the edge of the bed. His hand had gently stroked the silky strands of Makoto’s hair, a small smile was placed upon his lips. He then leaned over to gently kiss Makoto’s head before going to take a shower.

Makoto’s eyelids fluttered not too long after, slowly sitting up to rub his eyes. He had noticed he was in Asami’s bedroom, having his eyes to wander where the older man had went. Makoto had laid himself back down to smell Asami's scent upon the bed sheets for a moment before helping himself in the bathroom. It had happened to be unlocked, feeling the humid steam upon his face. Makoto turned his head to see Asami in the shower, immediately slouching himself to keep himself hidden. He couldn't help but to stare at an expression he’s never seen on Asami before.

Asami had one arm bent, his hand simply resting at his neck while the other hand was laid upon the wall in front of him. A gentle smile was upon his lips, never close to faltering. His eyelids were lowered, his golden eyes showing an unusual emotion of adoration within. There was no coldness nor a steel barrier of distrust — what Makoto was experiencing at that moment, was a man falling in love all over again; simply recalling his memories with the younger man and coming into realization of his feelings. Makoto had blushed, shaking his head to make sure he didn't space out any further until his body flinched at a familiar gaze upon him. He raised his head. _Ah.._

The tall, familiar physique of Ryuichi Asami had stood before in front of Makoto. It seemed Asami had finished his shower long before Makoto had realized it, seeing that Asami was wearing a white bathrobe. Asami raised a brow, his arms crossed as he gave a smirk at Makoto. “Well, least I can most _definitely_ confirm you're a pervert.”

Makoto immediately stood up, vigorously shaking his head. “Th-Th-That’s not t-true!” He gasped to see Asami had backed him up against the bathroom door. “A-Asami-san, h-hey, what are you--”

Asami had brought Makoto up against him by a simple yank at his wrist, his hands then grasping tightly at Makoto’s ass. “I believed that this little kid needs some more punishment~.”

Makoto’s face had grew rouge in an instant, failing at his efforts of resisting. _N-Not again!!_

\--

Makoto sighed as he was more sore than he ever was, watching Asami put on his blazer and buttoning it up. Asami’s head turned at Makoto. “What? Am I that handsome?” He gave another smile.

Makoto stuck his tongue, crossing his arms. _Tch.. Aki was definitely right of him being a cocky bastard._ The younger man’s expression softened. _..Where did he go anyway? I rarely see him.._

Asami watched Makoto, taking a step forward to pat at his head, ruffling his hair in the process. “You're too adorable.” Asami had planted a light kiss on the top of Makoto’s head. “What do you want to eat?”

Makoto stared at Asami. “You..don't have to get me anything.” He helped himself getting off the bed, standing beside Asami. The younger man had leaned against Asami’s chest. “Asami-san..”

Asami looked down at Makoto. “Yes?”

“..Are you..okay with me?” Makoto looked up at Asami. “I’m not like Aki. I’m a coward and..I’d even think I’m not worth your time sometimes. I’m a freak after all..”

Asami gave a brief silence, caressing Makoto’s cheek. “Stop that.” He gave a sigh. “The past is in the past, and I’d like to thank you for getting me out there. Makoto, I love _you_ — and you _are_ worth the time with each moment I’ve spent with you. Even it’s clear for me to express that without those words.”

Makoto’s eyes widened, in awe of what Asami had said. It was a strange feeling indeed. His stomach had felt light, his body had started to tremble as he had his hand covering his mouth. Tears rolled down Makoto’s cheeks; his chest had ached with beaming jubilance. “God...Ryuichi..” Makoto’s hands clutched onto Asami’s shirt.

Asami’s eyelids lowered, wrapping an arm around Makoto’s neck, placing his hand on the top of the younger man’s head. He softly kissed Makoto’s forehead, giving a smile. _Oh Makoto.. You’re by far too precious.. In the end, your words should've been mine, as I’ve lost control of myself since Takaba’s death._ Asami had tilted Makoto’s chin up to kiss him, feeling the trembling cease. _But you — you truly have.._

“Asa-- Ah..Ryuichi..”

Asami had reclined his head, staring down at Makoto. “Mm?”

Makoto stared back at Asami, giving a beaming smile. “Thank you.”

—

Later in the day, Asami had taken Makoto out in the city to spend time with him. He was aware of work being in the way, however at least he’d make this time to be by Makoto before any means to be back at his office. Asami had glanced at Makoto, who was staring out of the window. He gave a smile, telling the chauffeur to make a stop.

Makoto turned his head, seeing Asami step out of the limo. Asami had halted the younger man, instructing him to remain in the vehicle before closing the limo. Makoto’s head had tilted slightly, wondering where Asami was going. He had sat back in his seat, twiddling his thumbs and faintly hummed in patience for Asami’s return.

It was not long til Asami had came back inside the limo. “Here, for you.” Within hand, was a grand bouquet of various flowers being given towards Makoto. A noticeable blush spread across Makoto’s face, immediately flustered upon Asami’s gesture. He didn’t know what to say — he’s never been given flowers within his whole life and the fact of a man giving flowers to another man may seem strange to others. Makoto’s heart had pounded to see Asami patiently waiting for him to take the bouquet, his warm smile had ceased his anxious trembles.

“Th..Thank you.” Makoto eventually took the bouquet, smelling at the beloved aroma of each flower. As Asami was giving the chauffeur orders for the next destination, Makoto had noticed there were intriguing white flowers that had caught his eye. His lips gave a smile as he happened to recognize the lily of the valley flower, giving the meaning ‘promise of happiness’. There was a time he used to read the books around the house before the abuse had happened, wondering what kind of promise of happiness he’d have. Looking at Asami, he had already have found the one that had given him a life at ease and a warmth that can only be achieved from the great Ryuichi Asami: love.

“Makoto?”

Makoto blinked, seeing that Asami was staring back at him. “Eh? Ah, sorry. What is it?”

Asami gave a smile, stepping out of the limo to extend a hand towards Makoto. “We’re here.”

Surprised to be already at the next destination, Makoto had carefully held the bouquet close to his chest as he took Asami’s hand, stepping out of the limo. Makoto had noticed that he was at the entrance at Carlé Suites. Confused, Makoto was about to ask Asami why they were back until Asami had taken his hand, leading him inside the familiar brass lobby and to turn left and right at varying corridors until the tall man had opened a set of embroidered doors, revealing an empty, pale lit ballroom. As Makoto took a step inside, he watched Asami let go of his hand, walking on ahead to at the middle of the spacious room. Asami had turned his body, facing Makoto, extending a hand out at Makoto. “Come.”

Makoto slowly followed Asami, gradually taking Asami’s hand. To see the both of them in a quiet empty place, seemed quite eerie for the younger man; but also somewhat calming as it was just the two of them alone in this very room. Makoto softly breathing, gazing up to lock amongst Asami’s gaze. “..Why are we here?”

Asami’s eyelids lowered, giving a smile. “I must confess — to thank you.”

Makoto's eyes twinkled at Asami’s words. “Thank..me..?”

“Yes, Makoto, I had wanted to say thank you for the moments I’ve had with you. You had me heal within this limited time but..” Asami’s hand had went to hold Makoto’s. “I never thought there’d be a day where I had to thank someone for helping me into someone greater than I was before, and I have the pleasure to have us alone here to tell you that.”

Makoto had burrowed his face within Asami’s chest. “..That should be my line.”

Asami gave a chuckle, embracing Makoto close as the calm silence hung in the air.

~

Makoto had woken up, stretching himself to see he was in his room. He bit his lip, quietly making hs way to Asami’s room to see a resting Asami upon the mattress. Makoto gave a smile, coming to the side of the bed, kneeling down to see Asami’s relaxed face. He had a his fingers threading through the older man’s greying hair to see it was soft and fine as he’d remembered; he then leaned to gently kiss Asami’s temple. As Makoto was about to leave the bedside, he felt himself being pulled back to the bed, seeing an awakened Asami hovering over him.

“R-Ryui--” Makoto’s voice had faltered, seeing only Hikaru on top of him. There was coldness in those once kind blue-grey eyes; he then had a sleeping Asami, pulling him up by yanking at his hair. Makoto’s eyes widened to see a knife up against Asami’s throat. _St..Stop that.._ Being afraid, the younger man couldn't bring himself to utter a word, even if he could, his throat had remained tight.

Hikaru glowered down at Makoto. “If you truly love this sorry bastard, you’ll know where to go.”

Makoto closed his eyes, wanted to scream. _No!_

_No!_

_NO!_

_NO!_

“Makoto!”

Makoto felt his body being shaken, opening his eyes to see a concerned Asami. Asami gingerly cupped Makoto’s face. “Hey..You alright?”

Tears welled up in Makoto’s eyes; his arms then brought themselves to wrap around Asami’s neck. He didn’t bother to talk about that frightening illusion, however a small part of him had the need to see the man who had taken the time to take care of him and teach him the ways of the world, he was also Makoto’s first friend after all.

\--

Asami had gone off to his office, telling Makoto to call him if he needed anything. Makoto had gotten dressed up in a long sleeved shirt along with a hoodie, jeans, and a pair of high tops. He had decided to see Hikaru despite the end consequences. The younger man had told off Asami’s men that he was just getting fresh air before heading his way to Hikaru’s salon.

By the time Makoto arrived at the front door of the salon, he had noticed it was open, as if he were expected to be here. He opened the door, helping himself in to see the salon appears it hasn't been used in weeks.

_..Hikaru._

Makoto had taken the spiral staircase to head up into the apartment. And right when he had turned his head at the living room — was Hikaru dressed in the same attire as the same day he associated with the kidnapping. Makoto bit his lip, taking a few cautious steps closer. “H-Hey, Hikaru..”

Hikaru had turned his head, giving a smile. “Makoto..” He stood up to take a step towards Makoto, only for Makoto to take a step back. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Makoto continued to stare at Hikaru; his memories of the kidnapping flashed in his eyes, having complete distrust towards his beloved friend. “..Why did you do that? I thought you are my friend..”

Hikaru averted his gaze. “I still am, Makoto, trust me.” He looked back at Makoto. “But you’re here now. Man that was quite the recovery huh?”

Makoto’s hands clenched into fists. “..Why did you do it, Hikaru?” Tears were dripping down from his cheeks but Makoto did his best to stand his ground.

Hikaru didn’t respond. His arms had crossed across his chest; it was clear he was avoiding the subject. However Hikaru wasn’t fully aware of Makoto’s personality and aspect of life was changed due to Asami’s influence. Hikaru had thought of Makoto as that still incompetent, fragile young man who needed guidance and kindness. _He’s..different now. Tch. Asami, you bastard._ Hikaru had shook his head from the thought, taking another step to Makoto, which had Makoto take another step back. “Makoto, please, I didn’t mean for that to happen..”

Makoto’s body had started to tremble, his teeth clenching. “THEN WHY WERE YOU THERE!!? YOU LIED TO ME! YOU ARE LIKE THEM!!”

Hikaru walked at Makoto, grasping at his shoulders. “Hey, listen to me! I didn’t lie! It..” His face had turned. “..It was a job for revenge, but I didn’t expect you'd be fucked by that guy. I tried to stop them, I did!!”

Makoto struggled against Hikaru’s grasp. “L-Let go of me!! I..I shouldn't have come here!”

Hikaru gave a snarl. “Jesus Christ, what had that bastard Asami did to you?” Before Makoto would give another protest, Hikaru pulled out a switchblade from his hoodie pocket to tear through at Makoto’s hoodie and shirt, revealing the permanent scars of his family’s abuse as well as old and fresh love marks. Hikaru’s eyes widened, shaking at Makoto. “Did he do this!? Huh!? Tell me! I’ll kill that damn bastard!!”

Makoto had froze — he looked up at Hikaru’s distorted face. He had stopped believing whatever words came out of that mouth. “..Why do you hate him?” His voice turned soft, his body had remained stiff. “He..He didn’t do anything.”

The switchblade had been dropped, striking at the floorboard of the apartment. Hikaru had let go of Makoto, taking a step back. “Man you really are that sweet. Because of that bastard, you changed to someone completely different.” He gave a manic grin. “Wanna know what he did to me? He fucking killed my betrothed, my one and only partner!” Hikaru gave a laugh, while Makoto quietly watched in growing discomfort.

“Before I became a beauty shop owner, I was part of the drug market business like your cousin, Liu Feilong; pretty sure you know him already. That bastard Asami happened to take interest in my business and had wanted to see more of my business.” Hikaru’s fists clenched. “Along with that, I had a betrothed — a wonderful, amazing girl. She was a guy originally but I loved her no matter who or what she is; apparently she had hid something from me that I’ll never know today but I had witnessed her death: yeah, a gun to the head. And you know what? He toyed with me; fucking me and twisting my feelings even more before simply tossing me and leaving my life since then.”

“And then when you got caught by your family, I wanted to take you here to recover. And what happened next? He didn’t recognize me when I came through that door.” Hikaru’s hand had grasped at his arm, gripping it tight. “..I can’t afford to have another person I love to be taken away.”

Makoto's eyes widened. _Eh..?_

Hikaru had brought Makoto within his embrace. “I love you, Makoto.”

Makoto’s eyelids lowered. “..But I..don’t.”

Hikaru looked at Makoto. “I mean, there’s no rush —”

Makoto shook his head. “I love..Ryuichi.” Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Not a single passed by until the sound of a slap erupted in the air. Makoto remained unfazed, a reddened mark appeared upon his cheek. Immediate rage was within Hikaru’s eyes. “Didn't you hear what he did to me!? He’ll toss you away!” He had pushed Makoto to the ground, roughly dragging him by his wrist towards his [ Hikaru’s ] bedroom.

Makoto’s body had stiffened, feeling his body bare and being bent over the bed. His eyes widened, more tears had fallen as he soon blacked out from shock.

_Ryuichi.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been nearly about a month since I last posted.. ^^'  
> This chapter had bugged me since I may already have butchered it and I wasn't so sure what'll happen in this chapter. But it'll be over soon and that I'd like to thank you for the kudos, reads, and feedback. There'll be a surprise at the end of the story so keep watch! ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟゞ) 
> 
> \- M


	15. Chapter 15

Makoto was suddenly awakened by loud clanging of iron bars. Fully alert, he raised his head in an instant. His eyes widened to see he was all nude, covered in fresh hickeys and markings, and inside a cold iron cage.  _Wh-What’s this!?_

 

“Ah, my beautiful Makoto is awake at last.”

 

Makoto watched as Hikaru emerged from the darkness of the dim setting of the room. It appeared like a storage room, gradually reminding the blond of his previous life. Hikaru gave a smile, squatting in front of the cage. “Hey man, you doing alright?”

 

Makoto remained frozen with shock, staring back at Hikaru with large, frightened eyes. “..Why are you doing this…?” His voice was all raspy and soft.

 

Hikaru tilted his head. “What am I doing?” His hand then slammed at the iron bars of the cage, summoning a large echo coming at Makoto’s ears. “WHAT AM I DOING!? YOU BEEN TRICKED AND BRAINWASHED BY THAT MAN!” Hikaru took a moment to relax himself before smiling at Makoto. “But don't worry; I’ll fix this and you’ll be with me forever okay?” He then slid a plate of french fries and carrots inside the cage by opening a small door at the side. “Now eat; you’ll be needing your strength.”

 

Makoto stared at the plate, wondering if Hikaru had drugged them, hugging his trembling body as if by means to protect himself. He had flinched again to hear that Hikaru had banged at the bars again.

 

“Hey man, c’mon, I’ve temporarily stopped my business so I can spend time training you. So please,” Hikaru gripped at one the bars. “Eat. We can’t go on this forever; you’re just wasting time and giving me trouble. Gotta make some progress, yeah?”

 

Makoto bit his lip, not wanting to hear Hikaru’s voice being raised nor the loud iron bars, crawling towards the plate of food. He picked up a french fry, nibbling it before making himself clean the whole plate. He looked at Hikaru, who gave a nod and clapped for his efforts. “Ah see? Not too bad, yeah?”

 

“..” Makoto simply gave a small nod, doing his best to keep his resistance at a low level. He watched as Hikaru opened the cage, crawling inside to peck a kiss on Makoto’s forehead. By then, Makoto felt a leathery texture at his neck, seeing that Hikaru had a leash on hand. His eyes widened, his body trembled tremendously. Hikaru stared back, glancing at the leash before looking back at Makoto. “Oh this? It’s part of the training, no sweat man; plus this collar was made and came from Italy. Pretty expensive but worth it.” He gave a smile, having a finger underneath Makoto’s chin. “You’ll be just fine if you take the time to learn who you really belong to.”

 

Makoto flinched to feel tightness at his throat; the leather collar and the strong hand of Hikaru had Makoto barely able to breathe. The smile had disappeared from Hikaru’s lips as Hikaru gave a cold glare at Makoto. “Or prepare for the punishments that await you.”

 

Makoto’s mouth gaped open in attempts to have air into his lungs before giving another unfortunate nod.  _This..isn't right.. Hikaru.. Why are you like this..?_

 

Makoto felt his throat being free of grasp, coughing as he watched Hikaru unclip the leash from the collar before locking the cage, waving at him with a smile.

 

_You were my first friend.._

 

Tears had rolled down Makoto’s cheeks.

 

 _..But you're just becoming like_ **_those_  ** _people._

 

_Hikaru.._

 

_I loved you like a brother.._

 

_So why did you have to become like this..?_

 

Makoto sniffled, weeping into his hands as Hikaru had already had his way to leave the storage room, leaving Makoto where he was — all alone, trapped.

 

~

 

Makoto’s eyes shut tight as he screamed, feeling the sharp stings of a whip make bloody wounds at his back. Hikaru gave a snarl, giving another lash. “UGH! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LISTEN AND OBEY! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR THAT INCOMPETENT MIND OF YOURS TO DO!?” He slicked his hair back, walking to the front of Makoto to slap at him. “Hey — quit your crying. I’m here.” Hikaru gave an attempt to kiss at Makoto’s chapped lips before harshly squeezing at Makoto’s member, giving it more bruisings ever since he had started to ‘train’ Makoto.

 

“A-Ahhh!!” Makoto gave out another whine, his body writhing in utter pain and discomfort. He had started to recall the reason why he's having his punishment, repeatedly regretting that he didn’t screw himself up further in this situation.

 

•

 

_“Heyy, wakey wakey. I bought some snacks for you.”_

 

_Makoto’s eyes fluttered open to see Hikaru squatting in front of the cage, waving a small plastic bag at plain sight. “I got that one gummy candy you like, so wanna eat some?”_

 

_Makoto had sat up, rubbing at his puffy eyes. “..How long has it been?” His body stiffened of what he just said and could barely gulp his saliva to see that frightening glare that emitted within Hikaru’s glance._

 

_“Makoto — what did I say about questions? Hm? I liked it when you were quiet and clueless when you first started living with me.” Hikaru had unlocked the cage, gripping at Makoto’s wrist to forcibly drag the poor man out of the cage. Makoto shuddered at the floor’s coldness, looking up at an enraged Hikaru. “That man must’ve gave you multiple punishments to have you abide to his doing huh?”_

 

_Makoto’s eyes had glazed over as he was stood up to be forcibly put on a leather harness which had him later suspended into the air. By then Hikaru had undergone several bits of torture such as: biting, giving more fresh hickeys, more yelling, slapping, flogging, and whipping._

 

_Makoto helplessly sobbed, desperately praying for Asami to come to his rescue._

 

•

 

“Makoto.”

 

Makoto’s eyes opened, hearing the voice of Asami ring in his ears, smiling as he lifted his head up — only to see a straight-faced Hikaru with a tape recorder in hand.  _What..?_

 

Hikaru gave a frown. “You really  _are_ attached to Ryuichi Asami. Didn’t you hear me, Makoto? He literally used me after killing my lover and then tossed me away like I was some toy. Do you know how that feels? Hm?” Hikaru gave a smirk. “Oh yes ー remember what your family did. They used you several times, no, your  _whole life_ , didn’t they?”

Makoto bit his lip.

 

_Stop that._

 

_Stop bringing them back in my head.._

 

Asami had appeared in Makoto’s mind, smiling and offering a hand towards him. Tears rolled down Makoto’s cheeks.  _Ryuichi.. I’m so scared.._

 

_Please.._

 

_Save me!!_

 

“Heyyy, Makoto.”

 

Makoto whined as Hikaru had slapped at his head. “Listen to me, Makoto. Asami isn’t worth your damn time. He’s a sick freak who just uses people for his well-being and pleasures. And you sure hell don’t know what his background is like, do you?” Hikaru started to walk around the suspended man. “He may just be some rich entrepreneur and does some dark shit on the side, yeah? But you don’t know his whole damn story; nobody does. It’s all mystery, well,  _I_ happen to know his background. He had told me a few times before throwing me away. Hm, I wonder if you’d like to know more of his background, yeah?”

 

Makoto wavered his gaze. He didn’t give a response.

 

“Oi. Do you though?? If you love that bastard so much, don’t you want to know more of him?” Hikaru had stood in front of Makoto, having the end of the whip held underneathe Makoto’s chin, raising his head to meet his gaze. “If you obey my sayings, I can give you all the information of Asami. Better reward than food, yeah?”

 

Makoto had given a momentary stare at Hikaru, having a nod to follow. It’s true that he doesn’t know much of Asami, who seems to know most of Makoto’s life as if he was there as a witness. Hikaru gave a smile, pointing down at his exposed member. “You won’t regret it.”

 

Makoto gave a silent sigh, opening his mouth to have Hikaru immediately thrust within.

 

_Ryuichi.._

 

_Where are you..?_

_I want to go home..and be in your arms.._

 

~

 

It seemed like eons for Makoto to ponder how long he’d been with Hikaru. He no longer bothered to wonder as the days and weeks passed by. He’d uncontrollably cry as Hikaru continued with the training, continuing to pray for Asami’s arrival. However within the painful tortures, Makoto never broke in and kept his sanity -- even he himself was amazed of how long he can tolerate Hikaru’s manipulations and brutality.

 

_“Makoto!!”_

  
Makoto softly moaned, fluttering his eyes open to see only the torso-up portion of Akihito Takaba. He stared at the transparent ghost in disbelief. Was he seeing things? Was is another one of Hikaru’s illusions? Makoto was uncertain, his hand weakly raising to reach out towards Akihito, closing his eyes as exhaustion took over him.

 

\--

 

Makoto had woken up, seeing he was in Asami’s bed. His eyes had widened, immediately sitting up.  _Wh..Wha.._

 

“Makoto, calm down, you’re home.”

 

Makoto’s head whipped at the bedroom door, his eyes widening further to see Asami look at him with eyes of obvious disappointment and worry. “N-No.. Y-You’re--”

 

Asami walked over to the bed, swiftly grasping Makoto’s hand before he could react, placing his hand upon his [ Asami’s ] chest. “Makoto, breathe.”

 

Makoto’s lips had trembled, no voice had came out no more. Asami’s eyelids lowered. “I thought I told you’d call me if you need anything; and I’ve told you not to go back to that man.” He gave a sigh, having Makoto’s head lean against his chest. “Guess we both didn’t listen to one another. I’m sorry.”

 

Makoto raised his head, having his free hand caress the older man’s cheek. “Is it really..you?”

 

Asami gave a nod. He then leaned forward for his lips to intertwine with Makoto’s, retracting afterwards. “Does that answer your question?”

Makoto sniffled, wrapping his arm around Asami. Asami had nuzzled against the crook of Makoto’s neck, recalling the concluding time he had seen Hikaru Xiu.

 

•

 

_Asami’s men had bursted in the salon belonging to Hikaru Xiu. Thankfully Asami had a tracking device hidden in Makoto’s clothing, tracking him down as soon his guards had reported Makoto on heading out on his own._

 

_“OH COME IN! COME IN!”_

 

_Asami’s eyes had wandered to an open door near a spiral staircase. He walked over to the door to see a open trapdoor, beckoning his men to follow close behind him._

 

_Asami had walked down an array of stairs to see Hikaru Xiu and to see an unconscious Makoto wrapped his arms made the crime lord's blood boil furiously. Hikaru looked over his shoulder, giving a beaming smile. “Ah, Ryuichi, did you come over here to see how my training with Makoto is going?” His eyes eventually darkened. “Or are you here to take him away?”_

 

_Asami remained silent, staring at Makoto. He had gone to the bottom of the stairs, standing a few feet away from Hikaru. “Return him.” His voice was all brisk, or rather curt as Asami was giving his all to not snap._

 

_Hikaru gave a chuckle, sniffing at Makoto’s matted hair. “He still needs to be broken down further though; hell he’d cry whenever I’d play a voice recording of you.” He licked his lips before continuing on. “So how does feel to he someone you love most being taken away, hm? Well now you know — and you don't even remember know who the fuck I am.”_

 

_Asami took his gun out from his blazer, aiming it at Hikaru. “..Return him.”_

 

_Hikaru scoffed. “Look I'll even share what you don't remember: you killed my betrothed, Mingzhu Guan. Now before I’ll get rid of you..why?” Tears rolled down Hikaru’s cheeks. “Why did you kill her?”_

 

_Asami stared at Hikaru. “She never loved you — she was a set-up, and it was part of my plan to get to know you.”_

 

_Hikaru’s eyes widened. “Wh..What…?”_

 

_Makoto gave a soft moan, his eyes fluttering open. His head had lifted to look at Asami’s direction — his gaze seemed off, as if there was actually someone in front of Asami. His hand then slowly raised, reaching out to Asami before passing out again._

 

_“BULLSHIT!!”_

 

_Hikaru had dropped Makoto to the ground, unsheathing daggers, running towards Asami, only to be shot at numerous times. His body had dropped to the floor, shuddering as he cried in disbelief. “LIAR! LIAR! LIIAARRRR!”_

 

_Asami went over to Makoto, holding the young man close within his arms, ignoring Hikaru. He closed his eyes._

 

_{ “I'm here, Makoto.” }_

 

•

 

Asami had also remembered the fact Hikaru’s body was never found when Makoto was being taken to the hospital. It was either he had died off alone somewhere else or gone elsewhere out of sight for good. Asami had his men search throughout the area but the twisted man had never been seen again, and that Asami had decided to let him off and turn his concerns for Makoto.

 

Even if Makoto’s captivity turned out to be around a day and a half; it took about a month for Makoto to recover from the abuse given from Hikaru. During the recovery, Makoto wouldn’t allow anyone to touch him except for Asami. He wouldn’t mention about his frightening experience with Hikaru, as if he had forgotten. Asami never once bothered to bring the event up as it wouldn’t do any good and that would be a terribly insensitive move in general.

 

~

 

Makoto had nuzzled close to Asami’s chest, closing his eyes. It had been around half of a year since Hikaru’s disappearance. Makoto eventually had far forgotten what Hikaru had done to him; however he won't forget what he done in the beginning. If it weren’t for him to take him under his wing and becoming his first ever companion, Makoto wouldn’t have been able to be the person he is and wouldn’t get to experience life like any average person. It was true that Makoto had to see that Hikaru became demented and become yet another person to give further distress in Makoto’s health and level of trust 一 however he was grateful, and it’d be unfortunate for Makoto to never have the chance to say his gratitude and thanks.

 

“Makoto.”

 

Makoto lifted his head, being captivated by Asami’s gaze. “Yeah..?”

 

Asami gave a smile. “There’s someone I’d like for you to visit.”

 

Makoto blinked. “Visit?”

 

“Just get ready, alright?” Asami gave a low chuckle, kissing Makoto’s cheek before getting off the bed to get dressed himself. Makoto had eventually followed Asami’s actions within wonder who would he be meeting.

 

\--

 

“We’re here.”

 

“Eh?” Makoto looked at Asami. The trip wasn’t as long as he’d thought; moreover, he was holding a large bouquet of red and white roses. Asami had simply told the younger man to hold them til the time comes for them to be given.

 

After exiting the limo, Makoto walked alongside Asami as he went off to their unforetold destination. Makoto looked around his surroundings; there were stone shrines all close together in arrayed form.. Upon some of these shrines -- were bouquets or different varieties of gifts. There’d be the strong scent of incense in the air, stinging at Makoto’s nose.

 

“We’re here.”

 

It was then that Makoto realized Asami had taken him to a graveyard, and it was already obvious who he wanted him to meet. As Makoto finally caught up and stood beside Asami, his eyes widened; it was as it his heart had stopped to see the written characters that spell out Takaba Akihito.  _Aki.._ Makoto’s eyelids lowered, kneeling down to lay the flowers upon the shrine. He had his hands together, closing his eyes to give his prayer.

 

Asami had his temptation to pull a cigarette out, but had resisted as it was his former partner’s grave he’s close by to. However, because of being with Makoto, Asami had never once felt the overwhelming grief that had him numb, unable to be open to others, and to be resentful about not being able to protect Akihito as he’d desired.

 

A small smile formed upon Asami’s lips, content to having the warm feeling of love give him peace and to find another person he can love and protect. Makoto had eventually stood up after his prayer. “So this is Aki’s..”

 

Asami gazed at Makoto, his fingers intertwining with the younger man’s. “It was because of you, that I can move on and keep at going.” He gazed at the grave. “It is true that I’ve belittled myself ever since Takaba had died..but that’s in the past now. He’ll never come back, and there’ll have to be a time I’ll have to accept it.” Asami had pulled a small black box out of his pocket. “Here. Go back to the limo, and don’t open it until I get to you. I..need to be alone for this time.”

 

Taking the box, Makoto gave a small nod in understanding before turning his heel, heading to the limo. Asami looked back at the grave. “Takaba -- whether you’ve been watching over me or not, I’m glad to have met Makoto. You probably may have wanted me to get over you at that time..but I possibly couldn’t when that night happened all of a sudden.” The older man gave a sigh. “Pathetic, isn’t it?” Asami had too started to head for the limo, until he stopped at his tracks, looking over his shoulder to see a faint outline of Akihito standing before the shrine.

 

Before then, Asami would’ve cried and give his attempts to hug his former beloved. But now ー Asami had given a smile, and a nod as Akihito flashed a smile, eventually fading away into a soft light, finally having his wish fulfilled.

 

Back with Makoto, the younger man bit his lip, wondering what was in the box. He knew he should listen to Asami’s bidding, but had decided to take a quick peek before Asami had arrived.

 

And within the box --

Was a silver ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had rushed, may have some errors here and there, and reaalllyy butchered this almost-fail of a story but ehhh, all is good SINCE THE ENDING IS FINALLY HERE :P
> 
> \- M


	16. Chapter 16

Hey!! I’d like to thank you all for supporting and liking this story. I finally had recreated and finished a story that I’ve done around 2 years ago and I’m quite proud myself  ^^

 

Now you probably may wonder, “So like, what’s the surprise you’ve said in the last chapter?”.

 

Well, now that’s the part I was looking forward too -- because I’m writing yet another Viewfinder fanfic! ;3 But this time it’ll be just our usual Asami/Aki pair and of course, a somewhat good storyline, and I’m in hopes you’ll be liking that story just like this one.

 

In fact, here’s a lil’ sneak peak of this new work, just for y’all to see at it ;) [  [ http://archiveofourown.org/works/12589528/chapters/28674416 ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12589528/chapters/28674416) ] And may more fanfics come in the future!

 

\- M


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